We've been together 4 years. A year in to the relationship, the company my partner was working for shut down. He decided to have some Saturn return time to explore setting up his own business. I was supportive, as I'd just taken a six month "break from life" where I studied full time.
Three years later, his exploration time is still going. There have been many ventures attempted along the way. All of them with a slight "get rich quick" flavour: flipping clothes on eBay (after he watched Girl Boss on Netflix), investing in Bitcoin, drop shipping websites etc. etc. None have become the overnight successes he was looking for, and all were quickly abandoned for the next idea.
For a short time I was supporting him financially 100%, but he was lucky to be offered 15 hours/week work by an acquaintance. He uses this to pay for his share of rent, groceries and bills (which he insists we split 50/50). He rarely has any money left over, so eating out, vacations etc. are usually covered by me. In the three years he hasn't proactively applied for any jobs - more on this later.
He got involved helping a friend run nightclub events that he really enjoys doing, and this is the only venture he's doing now on top of the 15 hours/week day job. But it's been more of a hobby that pays some money, it's never been enough to live off. For a long time I was asked to "please be patient, I know the events are going to take off really soon, I'll be making heaps of money and working for myself". It still hasn't happened. Often I'm asked to put business expenses on my personal credit card because he doesn't have enough cash up front for an event. He does pay me back afterwards.
Along the way I found out he hasn't paid taxes or submitted a tax return in 5 or 6 years. There could be a huge debt hanging over us (or a refund?). I realised today that I've been asking him to see an accountant for advice for the past 18 months and he still hasn't done it. I feel like an idiot for letting it drag on so long. He says that to get his previous pay information he'd need to speak to people from his past he doesn't want to see. He also has a minor ($900) debt with a debt collector which he won't talk openly about.
The situation is creating a lot of tension. The financial gap between us is huge: he earns around $27000 a year (here in Australia that is only slightly above the poverty line). I earn $115000 a year. I have a pretty ambitious plan to travel for three months next year, then bunker down and focus on buying a house. My partner wants both of these things, but he can't contribute. (I don't expect a 50/50 split of costs for these). The avoidance over the tax and debts also worries me greatly.
I'm getting resentful that his attitude after 3 years is still that a get-rich-quick "big break" will come along, even though he works no more than 20 hours a week. He says he hates "being poor", but won't apply for traditional jobs because he is adamant he needs to be his own boss, and he refuses to work a job that's full time hours (it will prevent him from pursuing creative things). Above all I'm tired that he just won't get his shit together - this tax and debt situation still hasn't been addressed after me asking for 18 months.
I can see he feels guilty, and I can see he has a bruised ego after his ventures didn't live up to his (unrealistic) expectations. But he needs a dose of reality. So my question is, how do I tactfully deliver this dose of reality, or is it even worth trying?
TL;DR - My partner has been experimenting with his own unsuccessful businesses for three years. He still thinks a get-rich-quick big break will come along. He hasn't paid taxes in 5 or 6 years and has outstanding debts he won't address. He refuses to work full time. How do I give him a reality check that he needs to get his shit together?
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