Is anyone else getting embezzlement vibes?

Between the ballroom and the reflecting pool costs skyrocketing and seeing little to no progress on either one, I can’t help but wonder where our tax dollars are going.

The ballroom was supposedly gonna be $400 million in private donations. Separately the senate proposed $1 billion in upgrades to the east wing that includes the ballroom. I’m pretty sure it’s still just rubble?

The Lincoln memorial reflecting pool repairs were supposed to cost $1.8 mil but now it’s gonna cost 7x that. For a fresh coat of poorly done blue paint? It’s not even the same blue.

This is not to mention the BILLIONS the trump family has made in bitcoin or the suspicious large winnings on prediction markets after any big government event or truth social post.

I’m starting to think something’s up! Anyone else getting that vibe??

Stick figure drawing doodles 10LightStar01 is live!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq9CwopUH1s

This is a fever dream of a digital age—a sprawling, surrealist tapestry where crochet patterns meet high-speed police chases, and the Grim Reaper is just another guy trying to manage an office.

Here is the story of The Day the Grid Glitched.

The Morning Shift

The day began in a flurry of #ModernCrochet and chaos. At the local craft guild, a "Magical Crochet Gargoyle Quitter" was throwing in the towel, leaving behind a trail of freeform stars and loose ends. Meanwhile, in the corporate underworld, the Grim Reaper CEO adjusted his tie at his administrative desk. "It’s my panel," he hissed to a room of trembling interns, "and you will respect the filing system."

Outside, the physical world was losing its grip on reality. A green avocado was spotted zip-lining across the forest canopy, screaming "Wee!" while a dairy cow and a buffalo experienced love at first sight on the prairie. It was beautiful, until the "Authorized Official Shambulance" sped by with off-key sirens, driven by a DoorDash driver who had clearly taken a wrong turn at the interstate.

The Midday Madness

By noon, the legal system was buckling. A divorce attorney was arguing for a 4% inflation alimony increase, while a stubborn police officer attempted to ticket a driver for doing 55 mph, despite the driver’s GPS claiming otherwise.

In the skies, things weren't much better. An airplane pilot abandoned the cockpit—not because of an emergency, but to fix a sewer leak in the bathroom. This left the County Sheriff’s helicopter pilot to pick up the slack, shouting the command code "Accel UR L8 twerk" into his AI navigator.

Back on the ground, the "Microwave Preventive Maintenance Team" (composed entirely of trolls in tin foil hats) was conducting a rigorous inspection of a breakroom, while nearby, a police officer and his best friend were formally interrogating a hairball.

The Evening Gala

As the sun set, a tarnished copper green armadillo drone took flight from the roof of a skyscraper, filming the most anticipated event of the year: the wedding of the Grim Reaper and the Reapress. They exchanged vows of "invisible threat control" while a dancing xenophobic xylophone provided the music.

However, the party was crashed by a Giant Plushy Octopus looking for hugs and a "Slip and Fall Droidbot" seeking a lawsuit settlement. In the corner, Holly Bitcoin gave tap dance lessons to a singing pickle, while a group of mushroom soldiers set up tents inside a refrigerator’s cooling system to escape the heat.

The Final Stitch

As the clock struck midnight on March 8, 2026, the digital world began to "URL barf." Google Meet was exposing phone numbers, and the #DreamTrackAI was telling everyone to "try again tomorrow."

The chaos finally settled into a quiet, bizarre peace. A Jack Rabbit and a Skunk shared a moment in the woods, and a single claymation blue bird tucked its family into a nest made of crochet scrap yarn. The world was a mess of unredacted reports, stuck cruise controls, and singing rainbows—but as the Star and Hammer cartoon faded to black, one thing was clear: nobody was above the law, but everyone was definitely above the limit for weirdness.

The scene opens on a high-stakes, high-altitude pursuit. Jack, a lanky cartoon cat with whiskers that twitch like radio antennas, is dangling from a vine. Hammer, a stout mouse wearing a tiny tool belt, is standing on Jack’s head, squinting through a pair of brass binoculars.

"Target sighted," Hammer squeaked, pointing a tiny paw toward the horizon. "And he’s moving fast."

Zip-lining across the triple-canopy rainforest at a reckless velocity was Avocado. He wasn't just a fruit; he was a daredevil with a pit of pure adrenaline. Wearing tiny goggles and a GoPro strapped to his pebbly green skin, Avocado let out a high-pitched, "WEEEEEEEE!" as he blurred past a troop of confused howler monkeys.

The Chase is On

Jack didn't have a zip-line, but he did have cartoon physics. He grabbed a passing toucan by the feet, and with a rhythmic "Bang! Bang!" of Hammer’s literal mallet against a hollow log to create a beat, they swung into the sky.

"We need to intercept him before he hits the Cloud Forest!" Hammer shouted over the wind. "If he zips into the 'Modern Crochet' sector, we'll lose him in the yarn fog!"

The Obstacles:

• The Sourdough Rapids: A river of fermented dough they had to skip across.
• The Giant Plushy Octopus: A sentient obstacle that tried to hug them mid-air.
• The Interior Microwave Team: A group of trolls in tin foil hats who were trying to "inspect" the jungle for grease fires.

The Final Stretch

Avocado was gaining speed, his pit humming like a drone motor. He was headed straight for a transitional train scene—a steam engine locomotive puffing purple smoke across a trestle bridge.

"Now, Jack! Use the yarn smudging technique!" Hammer commanded.

Jack pulled a scrap of neon-pink crochet string from his pocket. With the grace of a Vaudeville performer defying gravity, he whipped the string forward. It looped around Avocado’s stem just as the fruit was about to clear the canopy.

ZIP—THWIP—BOING!

The tension on the crochet line acted like a bungee cord. Avocado didn't crash; he performed a perfect, mid-air 360-degree flip, his tiny goggles fogging up with joy.

The Landing

They all tumbled onto a soft mossy log near a Box Turtle who was busy falling in love with an Armadillo. Avocado bounced twice, his GoPro still recording the whole "Brainrot" investigation.

"Why were you running?" Jack panted, his fur standing up in static-electrified tufts.

Avocado adjusted his goggles and looked at them with wide, watery eyes. "Running? I wasn't running. I was just trying to get to the Holly Bitcoin Tap Dance Lessons before the early bird special ended."

Hammer looked at Jack. Jack looked at the Armadillo.

"Well," Hammer sighed, putting his mallet back in his belt. "At least we got the footage. This is going to kill on #DreamTrackAI."

VLq-x3ou19E	untitled
0TMbRWk4WjI	The making of Jack and Hammer, cartoon cat and mouse, bang
27LTuniln4k	untitled
r384VZLXu3A	It's go time with Grandma and hot grits in the ring
Ttbtm4D_gWo	pole vault remix
hxicWioIX38	How to take the loose end of crochet stitch, put it over the main strand, fold loop
_Tn8GDwQxAU	Police officer can't stop car due to cruise control being stuck #crazycars #carwars
HIXe_nKGXwA	Untitled Help I can't put my foot in a shoe without a hole in the shoe
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Ws8yubqGV9k	Join the National Guard.
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s0zhJiIvVI4	How to skip one crochet, stitch and count to 3 #moderncrochet #beginners
6rfXhtSP5xk	Cuddlefish jellyfish love at first sight in the ocean, prairie of plankton.
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jsnY8MNuZ34	Best cooling system on the planet fixed by maintenance refrigerator repair #applianceexperts
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qytG5WJmjH0	Me police officer and best friend interrogate a hairball #brainrot very bizarre investigation
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1hJy1EeMquw	Unlisted Unclassified
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Avz8V3n_GMg	The airplane pilot has left the cockpit and is fixing a sewer leak in the bathroom. #squawkbox
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J2QnlZxfPDE	Unlisted
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vxy39kHdeYo	Grim Reaper CEO It's my panel and you will respect me, Administrative desk job clerk opening
82j_JU_L2Hg	When space force attends a retirement party for National Guard, Major Foughcup
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9OxrKTj2p-Y	March 8, 2026
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M7h1tuBSAaU	No love anticipated from Chicago windy city or Detroit 8 miles, Eminem burn #seo
bjdsRjfinfM	How to crochet a free form star Random stitches and more 10LightStar01 is live!
8U1Yd92_9Tk	Mirror Love Bird
RXg88dMgxf0	The dancing xenophobic xylophones, World stage collaboration
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n4nf4bB-Jo8	When active duty military shows up to the space force
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Why eBay's rejection is the plan all along: the proxy fight thesis

Disclaimer: I used AI for formatting and grammar purposes as English is not my main language.

TL;DR: The market is debating whether the eBay deal closes at $125, $135, or fails. I think we're asking the wrong question. The acquisition offer was never the real plan; it's the opening move in a proxy fight that follows the exact playbook Cohen used at GameStop in 2020-2022. The math works out dramatically better for existing GME shareholders if this read is correct.

The problem with the current debate

Most analysis I've seen falls into two camps:

1. The bull case argues for a 60/40 equity split, $2B in synergies, and a path to $59+/share. It requires GME to trade at ~$40+ during the VWAP window to mathematically work. Right now GME is at $21.50.
2. The bear case argues the deal is dilutive, the leverage is unsustainable, and existing shareholders get diluted from 100% of GameStop to ~27% of a debt-burdened combined entity.

Both readings assume the acquisition is real. What if it isn't?

The Cohen 2020-2022 playbook

Let's look at what Cohen actually did with GameStop:

• 2020: Accumulates 9.9% via RC Ventures
• November 2020: Publishes "Beyond Best Buy" letter publicly criticizing the board
• January 2021: Joins the board
• June 2021: Becomes Chairman
• June 2023: Becomes CEO, restructures everything

Timeline from stake to CEO: ~3 years. Cost: minimal beyond the initial stake purchase.

Now look at the eBay timeline:

• Q1 2026: Cohen begins accumulating via derivatives and direct shares
• April 2026: 5% economic stake disclosed
• May 3, 2026: Public letter to board, "non-binding proposal"
• May 4-9, 2026: Publicly attacks insiders ("$0 bought, $120M sold in 5 years"), calls them "hollow men," accuses culture of "day drinking"
• May 11, 2026: Files for 2.5B share authorization
• May 12, 2026: Board rejects publicly

This is the same playbook. First six months are nearly identical.

Why the offer was structured to be rejected

Several details only make sense if the offer was a tactical device, not a serious acquisition attempt:

1. Non-binding proposal with no prior board contact. Per eBay's response, GameStop never reached out before going public. A real acquirer wanting to close a deal contacts the board privately first. Cohen wanted the public rejection.

2. Highly Confident Letter conditioned on investment-grade rating. The TD letter eBay published revealed the financing requires the combined entity to maintain investment-grade credit from at least two of the top three agencies. Moody's has already flagged that the combined entity would be junk-rated. The financing was effectively unavailable from day one. Cohen obviously knew this.

3. Insufficient authorized shares. GameStop has ~321M authorized shares available after existing issuances and Cohen's option package. The deal needs ~1.2B new shares at current prices. The 2.5B authorization request was filed AFTER the offer, not before. A real acquirer ensures the authorization is in place before announcing.

4. The "I want to be CEO of eBay" framing. Cohen explicitly told Business Insider: "I want to be CEO of eBay." He wants it to be his baby (in his own words). That's the language of someone planning to run the company, not someone planning to buy and integrate it.

5. The communication strategy targets users, not investors. Cohen has done interviews with Justin Resells (an eBay seller YouTuber with ~150k subs), TBPN (a tech podcast), and Charles Payne (retail Fox). He's been deliberately combative with CNBC (institutional audience). If he wanted to close a deal, he'd be doing institutional roadshows, not selling his socks on eBay for $14k.

He's mobilizing the eBay user base. That's what you do for a proxy fight, not an acquisition.

The cheap way to take over a company

A $55B acquisition requires:

• $9B cash deployed
• $20B+ in debt (junk-rated)
• 1.2B+ new shares issued
• 73% effective dilution for existing GME shareholders
• 18-24 months of integration risk

A proxy fight requires:

• $50-200M in legal and advisory fees
• 12-18 months of campaign work
• Mobilization of eBay shareholders and proxy advisors
• A credible slate of director nominees

Same end result: Cohen controls eBay. Vastly different cost structure for existing GME shareholders.

The proxy path is also massively better for Cohen personally. His $35B compensation package vests on GameStop market cap milestones. A diluted, debt-burdened GameStop hits those milestones with greater difficulty than a leaner GameStop that takes control of eBay through governance rather than acquisition.

The math comparison

Acquisition scenario at current $21.50:

• Total post-deal shares: ~1.66B
• Existing GME shareholders: 27%
• Equity value range (assuming successful execution): $40-65B
• Implied share price: $24-39

Proxy fight scenario:

• GameStop share count stays roughly unchanged
• 5% eBay stake appreciates as Cohen gains control (potential $1B+ unrealized gain)
• GameStop standalone continues generating ~$500M/year in interest income alone
• Combined value through governance synergies and strategic optionality
• Potential implied share price on successful proxy path: $40-60+ over 3-5 years

The proxy path is mathematically superior for existing shareholders. Cohen would know this.

What to watch for

If the proxy thesis is right, we should see:

• Continued accumulation of eBay shares (watch for 13D amendments showing GameStop crossing 6%, 7%, 8%+)
• No improved offer at $135-145
• Hiring of specialized proxy fight counsel (Wachtell, Sullivan & Cromwell, Cleary)
• Recruitment of director candidates (typically late 2026)
• Continued public attacks on eBay management without corresponding M&A escalation
• Mobilization campaigns targeting eBay shareholders directly

If the acquisition thesis is right (and the proxy thesis is wrong), we should see:

• Improved offer terms ($135+ per share, more cash component)
• Private engagement with eBay board
• Definitive financing commitments replacing the HCL
• Pivot to a more accommodating target if eBay won't engage

The implications for existing GME shareholders

If this read is correct, the current price action (GME drifting from $26 to $21.50 as the market "loses faith" in the deal) is a buying opportunity rather than a warning sign. The market is pricing the acquisition path failing. It's not pricing the proxy path succeeding.

Cohen's June 8 AGM and June 10 earnings will be the next data points. The 2.5B share authorization isn't necessarily for an acquisition. It could be for additional eBay share purchases, future strategic flexibility, or both. The Q1 earnings are likely strong (gross margin expansion, interest income on $9B cash, Bitcoin position recovery). Both events could reset the narrative.

I'm not certain this is what's happening. The acquisition thesis is still plausible at 30-40% probability. But the proxy fight thesis explains more of the observed behavior than the acquisition thesis does, and it's significantly more favorable to existing shareholders if correct.

The compensation package question

A reasonable objection: Cohen's $35B comp package vests on GameStop market cap milestones ($20B to $100B) and cumulative EBITDA milestones ($2B to $10B). A pure proxy fight without an eventual merger seems inconsistent with this structure. How does GameStop standalone reach $100B market cap?

Two possible answers reconcile this tension.

The proxy fight as prelude to merger: Cohen takes board control of eBay through proxy in 2027, restructures management, then proposes a merger in 2028-2029 from a position of negotiating strength. The merger eventually happens (but at terms Cohen negotiates from inside both boardrooms, not as a hostile acquirer paying premium with massive dilution). Existing GameStop shareholders avoid catastrophic current-price dilution. The package eventually vests as the combined entity scales.

The lower-variance path: Cohen's existing ~9% GameStop stake is worth ~$900M today. The package is leverage on top of that, not the primary incentive. If he can avoid massive dilution and grow GameStop's standalone value through organic operations, strategic accumulation (eBay stake, Bitcoin, future targets), and re-rating, his personal stake plus partial package vesting may economically exceed a high-risk full-acquisition path.

The contract also contains an anti-dilution clause that adjusts milestones higher when stock is used as consideration for acquisitions. This means Cohen can't simply dilute his way to milestones (he needs to create real value). The clause works for the proxy thesis: it makes a delayed, well-structured merger more attractive than a rushed current-price acquisition.

--

Hat tip to u/Over-Computer-6464 whose comments across multiple threads articulated this read most clearly. Worth following.

Not financial advice. I hold shares.