Present Day
I am ready to die soon. I have a concrete plan on how to kill myself. I bought a water pump machine for $500. All I need is to buy a tent or rent a storage unit for 1 month. I got this idea from the HBO’s documentary called “I Love You, Now Die: The Commonwealth v. Michelle Carter”. My death will be painless, carbon monoxide poisoning will just feel like I am falling asleep. This could sound stupid, but the only reason why I am still alive is because I am curious who will win the NBA playoffs and the Euro Cup. Once those tournaments are over I plan to kill myself. I have been wanting to do this for the last 20 years and now I am finally brave enough to go through with it. They said, “It will get better.” This was a cruel lie that was ever told because I’ve been suffering since I was a child.
The Great Run
In 2017-2018 I turned 1K to 162 in just 3 months. It was unbelievable and I thought I was destined for greatness. I thought it would go on forever and I would be insanely rich. I was working 16 hour days but it felt great to make so much money every single day. But something very bad would happen....we'll get back to this. Let’s go back to 2016 first.
10 Jobs in 1 year
In 2016 I was dead broke and didn’t know what to do with my life. I figured it was time to get a job and fall into line with everyone else in society. But it seemed like with every job that I had, I would ultimately become depressed and quit my job. I went through this vicious cycle about 10 times that year. The amount of time, energy and effort used to find these jobs was enormous, it was such a defeating moment when depression kicked in and it was unbearable. There was this feeling of hopelessness. I was also taking an anti-depressant called Wellbutrin, which greatly contributed to my troubles at my workplace. It made me feel anxiety and irritability. I remember one time this one co-worker who’s been working there for 12 years, scolded at me in front of everyone in the office because I had called a customer of his. The thing is my job was to call the clients to remind them of an upcoming event, I checked the account call logs and there was simply no data entered in. It was simply HIS mistake and this motherfucker was yelling at me? Hellllll fucking no. I yelled straight back at him, I really didn’t give a fuck. The irony was that I was still within my 3 month probation, but I have this crazy mentality of really not giving a fuck. I am not going to trade my dignity for a bit of money. Fuck that. Needless to say I caused more trouble in the office for weeks later and eventually was fired. I went through a few more jobs but ultimately it was the same situation, I would either get fired or would quit.
Making Money in GTA and real life
Then I said fuck working for the man and proceeded to play GTA V for months. I would play 16 hours a day and just grind out for GTA $ to buy in-game apartments, cars and clothes. But after a while I figured I should try to go make some IRL money. So my next big idea was to make websites that would share porn and video games. I found an off-shore web hosting provider and they told me they take payments using prepaid credit cards or bitcoins. At the time the price of 1 Bitcoin was about $1000. But the thought about meeting some random dude and paying him in cash was sketchy AF. So I went to Walmart and bought about $1000 worth of prepaid credit cards, the fees on these cards were very high. A few months later I realized I was not making enough progress from my websites. My cousin then told me the price of graphics cards were very expensive because of the crypto miners buying up cards. At the time the price of ETH was crashing and it was about $190 USD in July 2017. In that very moment I remembered Warren Buffer’s quote about buying when people are fearful, so I decided to go all in on crypto. I remember withdrawing all $7000 in my account and went to a Bitcoin ATM machine. But the quote on the website was different on the machine, it was much more expensive so I decided not to buy at that moment. The next day the price of OMG went from $1.50 to $2.00. I felt tremendous FOMO so I found a LocalBitcoins trader and officially bought Bitcoin at $2900.
The Great Run….Continued
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