Sunday, September 12, 2021

Cerebrolysin Changed My Life: An Experiential Chronicle

Cerebrolysin Journals

Cerebrolysin Changed My Life: An Experiential Chronicle

There is a challenge in knowing where to begin and end when explaining something that gave me my life back, especially when that seems to be just the tip of the iceberg. But I will try and give some background, my experience acquiring it and development leading to the decision to use it.

FOR TL;DR - I was in a terrible place with my memory, cognition, mental health, and behavior, and now I am not, and feel like a new person, or a better version of the person I used to be. Within a month of cessation I got my 1st ever promotion at work, people around me started to enjoy my presence and comment on my change in intellect, interaction and mood. I feel motivated and it looks like I may have landed a new job that is so exciting I really can’t believe it.

The whole Story:

I’ve suffered with a bit of depression, heavy anxiety, and some severe physical health issues since birth (which may have been the main source of the anxiety). To cope I eventually engaged in many harmful behaviors, and was for time homeless due to severe addictions issues, despite having a bachelor’s of science in mechanical engineering. I managed to rebuild my life with some success and some huge setbacks, but things were never quit as clear to me as they once were. I was foggy, unmotivated, had severe memory deficits.

Then Covid hit me and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I really felt separate from reality and other people, and wasn’t seeing much improvement despite my best efforts. I was ready to try almost anything.

Luckily a friend with a similar background kept encouraging me to try Cerebro, and I took the impetus knowing that he had done his research, to started my own. Eventually, desperation and understanding crossed paths, and I purchased 5 ampules of 10 ml each from the manufacturer Ever Pharma, and through a US importer.

And so it began.

Usage and dosing:

I decided to take a large 6 ml does to start. After that my strategy was to fill (3x) 3ml syringes immediately after opening an ampule, using one 3ml does, and storing the other 2 in as sterile an environment as possible. (IM syringes were obtained by walking into the pharmacy and asking politely to buy them). I made the mistake of refrigerating 2 of the stored doses which partially froze, and I used them anyway after thawing. But peptides breakdown at low temps so I likely ruined both doses. Also the instructions say to keep it stored at room temp.

I’ve also been asked about oxidation and I did not see any issues with that. After opening the ampules I tried to draw them up in the syringe and get as much air out as possibles but there were still bubbles. I did each injection IM and tried to push it slowly as the direction are to inject over 3 min time period. I probably had the patience to wait 30 seconds. Most injections where in the butt muscle but I tried the upper thigh. It’s a lot to inject, so expect some lumps or bumps and minor soreness but overall my body tolerated it very well.

Time of day: Varied. I found the mornings were ok and despite very mild physical side effects, like temperature sensitivity, it seemed to enhance my work day. Afternoon's were very ideal, but late evening caused me to lose sleep.

Before I post journal notes below I will give away the ending since it might be the most relevant information for some.

The improvement has lasted over a month so far, but was most remarkable during use as things changed so fast. I must pose a question; how does one self quantify cognitive improvement? The instrument used to study to the subject, and the subject itself, are one and the same, all while the instrument/subject, being of course one's own mind, are rather acutely changing throughout the process.

Subjectively: I feel a profound difference in the way I think. It is like the library of my mind was organized and labeled, where I can find the vocabulary and structure to express complex thoughts very quickly and with confidence. Before I stuttered and stammered a lot, and often couldn't complete sentences because I simply couldn't remember a word or even what i was trying to say. I kept my thoughts to myself before and didn't look people in the eye because I didn't want them to see what I felt about myself.

Objectively: Approx. 80% of the people close to me have said something to me indicating their recognition of how I seem to be generally doing better, despite not having told many people I used Cerebrolysin (but I really want to tell the world). Mostly they comment on the change in fluidity of my speech, clarity of thought, improvements in communication, overall well being. I have even had people that I only message with tell me they can see the effects just by my use of language. People ask what I am doing differently or what led to me getting into such a "good place".

Since cessation of use about a month ago I’ve had many profound and notable changes: I asked for and received a raise at work for the first time in my life. I started looking at the big picture view of life, and seem to see the importance and relevance of things that are actually important. This is really powerful at first because you are sort of having these huge revelations multiple times a day where you think, “oh, ok now I understand how the world works”, it’s just very strange and I am so very grateful for all of it. I landed a job interview that led to a 2nd in person interview that would just change everything about my life. I wasn't even able to consider any of these things before.

Also, I think it’s of note that my therapist of 2 years is profoundly interested in how I finally made all these changes, so after a few weeks I was open with him about it. He was really very ok with that and asked how to spell Cerebrolysin since he is heavily involved in the research community. I truly hope somehow knowledge of this medication reaches a wider community.

Demographics: I am a white male, age 38, nicotine user, was a pretty heavy drug and alcohol user but that seems to be subsiding abruptly. I have health issues that make it difficult to maintain sufficient oxygen levels at times.

Journal of Experience:

Here are most notes from the journal I kept during the process word for word, warts and all as they say. I’m short on time so I won’t proofread for typos. I am just ready to share this at this point.

Day 1 - All instructions are in Russian which looks like a different alphabet so not much use there. No real fear of injection. Pretty depressed and see nothing to lose. Just had my worst therapy session in 2 years. Shot went fine, 3ml. No reaction. (note: I think I took a second 3 ml shot that night but can’t be sure)

Day 2 - Had a better day at work than normal. Was a Friday. Got home and napped. Got phone # of a girl at work. Kind of excited about possibilities. Also, at some small dose of psilocybin mushrooms (wow forgot about that detail!). Took less alprazolam than normal.

Day 3 - woke up several hours earlier than normal Saturday routine. Did not consider drinking in the daytime or drug use. Stayed busy with reading and research. Organized finances. Went to visit an old friend who invited me to speak at a public event that night. Surprisingly not nervous. Lots of different behavior today. Ate out for lunch. Showered during the day. Felt confident and alert though combined with morning coffee and Adderall. Def felt better but not discernible from placebo. Ate psilocybin and used ketamine that night. Talked enthusiastically with [my friend who showed my Cerebro]. Took tiny benzo and slept through public speaking engagement. Practiced much guitar and made a good video. Deep talk with my sister. Overall fun day and late night. Considered the risk of rewinding my brain on psychedelics, eeek!

Day 4 - Woke early again. Coffee and lower dose 5mg adderall. Noticed I could read and see better up close. Senses seem heightened. Called my dad and felt better able to communicate. Very productive day. Took (2x) 3ml shots. Started learning Python coding. Outdoor time with Winston (my dog). Told people of the positive effects I was feeling. Took much less benzos and only at night rather than 1st thing in morning. Napped 7-8pm. Dog Park 9-10pm. Feel profoundly okay today! Attention span and energy are absolutely improved. Oddly I walked around outside my house naked in the middle of the night. I crave feeling and feel motivated to find it. If I continue this zest for life I don’t think I will stay at my current job long. I could do so much better (looking back, wow that was prophetic). Im excited to see how this week goes at work. Mental energy and endurance improved. I do not feel less than others. Hope to record sleep habits as they have been a MAJOR issue, averaging 3-4 hrs pre Cerebro.

Also liking for new friends and ways to help others. Made moves to get my finances back in order, and already added some cushion back to the checking account. Looked into interest rate of each debt.

Took a break from Cerebro for couple days due arrival of MDMA. Did use both one day, without noticing anything negative. (looking back I’m amazed at all the drugs a was using although it had been 20 years since using MDMA) Several days of missing notes.

Day 8 - Resumed Cerebro. 3ml/day by loading 3ml IM syringes 3 at a time from each 10m ampule. Tried refrigerating and actually froze the substance. Used anyway. This week at work was easy. I had some stress due to the desire to over learn. Almost like amphetamines can cause.. Social Interaction was at a peak, despite MDMA bender.

Highlights of 2nd week of use. Made more personal connections and met more people at work that I have in the last 2 years combined. Got a title change. Asked for a raise for the 1st time in my life. Sounds like it will happen. Barely slept 2-4 hrs per night. Just too excited about life and learning and growth. Was excited for people to see the new me and talk to them. Looking people in the eyes is no longer difficult.

Day 9 - Start of 3 day weekend. Got a gift from mom. Had frank talk with certain friend about boundaries. Only 2 doses left, may consider more. this week I set lots of now goals and I'm too busy to write them all here.

Day 10 - 2nd to last does. Finally got some sleep. Have great energy. Don’t really remember what depression is like…was it that bad. It’s gone for now. Smiling often. Saw old friend and played some music together. Rushed back home to settle some business then off to shoot pool with a new friend. It’s been a very long time since I’ve met new people. Shot some of the best pool of my life! Left at 10pm and had motivation so I grabbed a guitar and went to the nearest bar. Ended up playing my 1st ever solo music gig on stage. I sang and everything. What a F@#*ing day.

Day 11 - Last day. Cerebrolysin I need to know so much more about you. Woke early, 9am, watched documentary with coffee. Took Winson to get lunch after working on my financial planning. It is an awesome feeling to have so much time to do stuff now that I can get out of bed. went to the dog park. Talked my mom into buying Bitcoin thank god. Seen a total turn around in my financial security over the last 2 weeks. It’s a struggle to know where too channel this energy and mindfulness. A wonderful struggle. Investigating my future, and thinking of the big picture life goals. I don’t feel like I need drugs and alcohol like I have for the last 20 years.

I can’t wait to learn more and see what comes. I hope I use enough caution because at the beginning I felt I had nothing to lose. NOW I DO!!!! I have more work and reading and fun to have today but I will have to write a Cerebrolysin journal recap. And a follow up at 1 week intervals. There is so much more……

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That the end of the journal. And there really IS so much more.... And I mean that on so many levels and with lots of love and the deepest gratitude.


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