Tuesday, March 17, 2026

[3 YOE, Fresh Grad, Backend & AI SWE, United States] Graduating with Masters this Spring and struggling with job search

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Monday, March 16, 2026

The Daily Market Flux - Your Complete Market Rundown (03/16/2026)

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Here is Your Complete Market Rundown (03/16/2026)

Geopolitics Events

U.S. and China Hold Productive Trade Talks in Paris, Discuss Tariff Stability and New Regime

U.S. and Chinese officials concluded three-hour trade discussions in Paris on Monday, with both sides characterizing the meetings positively. Treasury Secretary Bessent described the talks as "very good" and aimed at preventing retaliation, while Chinese negotiator Li said discussions were "in-depth and candid." The parties agreed to maintain stability in tariff levels and discussed bilateral tariffs, possible extensions of tariff suspensions, and the new U.S. tariff regime. Separately, Bessent indicated any oil price interventions would depend on war duration in Iran, while treasury yields declined as investors monitored oil markets ahead of the Federal Reserve's interest rate decision.

Trump Reports Extensive Military Campaign Against Iran, 7,000 Targets Struck

President Trump announced U.S. forces have struck over 7,000 targets across Iran in recent days, destroying more than 30 mine-laying vessels in the Strait of Hormuz. The campaign has decimated Iran's anti-aircraft equipment and achieved a 95% reduction in drone attacks, according to Trump. He stated Kharg Island has been largely destroyed except for oil pipeline infrastructure, which remains intact. Trump claimed Iran has few missiles remaining and expects minimal retaliatory capability. Despite calling on international partners to help secure the Strait of Hormuz, no countries have made firm commitments to deploy naval forces. Trump said some nations prefer not to get involved in the conflict.

Trump Says Iran Wants Deal But Leadership Uncertainty Clouds Negotiations

President Trump stated Iran wants to make a deal and is talking to U.S. officials, though he emphasized uncertainty about whether they're ready to negotiate. Trump acknowledged not knowing Iran's current leaders, including whether the Supreme Leader is alive, complicating diplomatic efforts.

White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles Diagnosed with Early Stage Breast Cancer

President Trump announced that White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles has been diagnosed with early stage breast cancer and will begin treatment immediately. Trump praised Wiles as "an incredible Chief of Staff" and "one of the strongest people I know." She plans to continue her duties during treatment.

Trump Calls for Emergency Fed Rate Cut, Says Timing Is Obvious

President Trump urged the Federal Reserve to convene a special meeting and cut interest rates immediately, arguing the current moment presents an ideal opportunity for monetary easing that even a third-grader could recognize.

Bessent Dismisses Iran Concerns as Factor in Potential Trump China Visit Delay

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent clarified that any postponement of President Trump's late-March China visit would stem from Trump's preference to monitor developments from Washington, not from Chinese requests related to the Iran conflict or Strait of Hormuz situation. Bessent downplayed concerns about diplomatic implications from a potential delay.

Trump Schedules White House Press Conference Before Kennedy Center Board Meeting

President Trump will hold a news conference at the White House on Monday at 10:45 a.m. EST, preceding his 11:45 a.m. closed-door meeting with the John F. Kennedy Center board of trustees.

Trump Postpones Xi Summit Amid Iran Conflict

President Trump requested a month-long delay of his planned China trip to focus on Iran tensions, claiming his military actions against Iran prevented World War 3.

Over 200 US Troops Injured in Iran Conflict Across Seven Countries

Approximately 200 US service members have been wounded in the ongoing war with Iran across seven countries including Bahrain and Iraq. The vast majority sustained minor injuries, with over 180 already returned to duty. Ten troops are considered seriously wounded, according to US Central Command.

US Industrial Production Climbs 0.2% in February, Beating Expectations

US industrial production rose 0.2% in February, exceeding the 0.1% forecast, marking the fourth consecutive monthly gain driven by increased factory and mining output.

Supreme Court to Hear Trump Administration's Bid to End Migrant Protections

The Supreme Court will hear arguments on the Trump administration's efforts to terminate temporary legal protections for Haitian and Syrian migrants. Separately, an appeals court has authorized expedited deportations of migrants to third countries.

Trump Administration Challenges Court Ruling Blocking Powell Subpoenas

The Justice Department asked Judge Boasberg to reconsider his ruling that quashed subpoenas for Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell, arguing an incorrect legal standard was applied in blocking the summons.

Germany's Merz Rules Out Military Involvement in Iran Conflict

German Chancellor Merz stated Germany will not participate in any Iran war or Strait of Hormuz security operations, emphasizing the conflict must end quickly with a clear strategy.

Iran and US Hold Direct Talks in Recent Days

Iran and the United States have engaged in direct contact over recent days, according to sources cited by Axios, marking a notable diplomatic development between the two nations.

Trump Warns U.S. Could Strike Iran's Kharg Island Oil Facilities

President Trump stated the U.S. could destroy oil infrastructure on Iran's Kharg Island, the country's main crude export hub, at a moment's notice. While recent U.S. strikes targeted military installations on the island, energy facilities were deliberately spared but remain potential targets.

Trump Says He Expects to Take Cuba

President Trump stated he believes he will have the honor of taking Cuba, suggesting he could either free or take control of the island nation while claiming he could do anything with it.

Technology Events

Nvidia Projects $1 Trillion Revenue Through 2027 as CEO Unveils Expanded AI Chip Roadmap at GTC Conference

Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang announced at the company's GTC 2026 conference that the chipmaker expects at least $1 trillion in revenue from its Blackwell and Rubin AI chips through the end of 2027, doubling the previous year's $500 billion outlook. Huang stated that 60 percent of this demand will come from hyperscalers and cloud AI providers, with computing demand expected to exceed even these projections. The announcement came as Nvidia unveiled a sweeping array of new products and partnerships aimed at maintaining its dominance in AI infrastructure. Key launches included the Vera CPU targeting agentic AI workloads, the Dynamo 1.0 software platform for AI inference at scale, and the NemoClaw enterprise AI agent framework with built-in security controls. The company also introduced the Groq 3 AI chip and expanded its open AI model portfolio for agents, robotics, and healthcare applications. Nvidia demonstrated its push into new markets with the Vera Rubin Space-1 chip system for orbital AI data centers, delivering up to 25 times more AI compute than the H100 for space-based inferencing. The company also launched its Physical AI Data Factory Blueprint to accelerate development in robotics, vision AI, and autonomous vehicles. Major technology partners announced expanded collaborations at the conference. Dell launched AI workstations with Nvidia GB300 chip support, while HPE expanded its AI portfolio with Blackwell and Rubin systems. IBM, CrowdStrike, Cisco, and Adobe all unveiled deeper integrations with Nvidia technology. In robotics, Skild AI partnered with ABB Robotics, Universal Robots, and Nvidia to deploy AI systems in production environments, including high-precision assembly of Blackwell systems with Foxconn. The announcements come as investors scrutinize whether Nvidia can justify its valuation amid questions about potential slowdowns in AI spending. Hyperscalers are projected to spend nearly $700 billion on AI infrastructure in 2026, though this represents a fraction of the estimated $1 trillion S&P 500 companies are allocating to other growth initiatives.

Meta Signs $27 Billion AI Infrastructure Deal with Nebius Over Five Years

Meta has agreed to purchase up to $27 billion in AI infrastructure from Nebius through 2030, including $12 billion in dedicated capacity beginning early 2027 and an additional $15 billion commitment for compute resources across Nebius clusters.

Nvidia Unveils Vera Rubin Platform with Seven New Chips for Agentic AI

Nvidia launched Vera Rubin, a rack-scale AI system featuring seven chips including the new Vera CPU. The platform delivers 3.6 exaflops of compute and 260 TB/s NVLink bandwidth across five racks, targeting agentic AI applications with liquid-cooled architecture.

OpenAI Pursues $10 Billion Joint Venture with Major Private Equity Firms

OpenAI is in advanced talks with TPG, Bain Capital, Advent, and Brookfield to establish a joint venture focused on distributing AI products to portfolio companies. The private equity firms are considering committing $4 billion for equity stakes in the venture, which would be valued at $10 billion. The partnership aims to accelerate enterprise adoption of OpenAI's artificial intelligence software across the firms' extensive business portfolios.

BCE Partners with CoreWeave and Cerebras for $1.7 Billion Saskatchewan AI Data Center

Canada's BCE will invest $1.7 billion in Saskatchewan to build the country's largest purpose-built AI data center, partnering with CoreWeave and Cerebras in a 300 MW facility expanding Bell AI Fabric's national network.

Nvidia CEO Huang Doubles Revenue Target to $1 Trillion Through 2027

Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang announced the company now sees at least $1 trillion in AI infrastructure demand through 2027, doubling last year's $500 billion projection. Hyperscalers and cloud AI providers represent 60% of expected demand for the chipmaker's latest AI products.

Crypto Events

Strategy Purchases $1.6 Billion in Bitcoin as Price Surges Past $74,000

Michael Saylor's Strategy executed its largest bitcoin acquisition of 2026, purchasing 22,337 BTC for approximately $1.6 billion last week using preferred shares. The purchase brings the company's total holdings to 761,068 bitcoin, marking its 12th consecutive weekly buy. Strategy's stock has rallied 35% from its February low, outpacing bitcoin's own gains during the period. Bitcoin reclaimed the $74,000 level amid renewed institutional demand, with cryptocurrency ETFs recording $793 million in inflows driven primarily by BlackRock. The digital asset has climbed nearly 25% from its February bottom, approaching the $75,000 threshold as market sentiment shifts from extreme fear to neutral territory. Japanese firm Metaplanet announced a substantial capital raise between $255 million and $531 million to accelerate its bitcoin accumulation strategy, sending its stock up 5% on Monday. The move reflects growing corporate treasury adoption of bitcoin as a reserve asset. Bitcoin's recent strength comes as geopolitical tensions in the Middle East show signs of cooling after three weeks of U.S.-Iran conflict. The cryptocurrency has demonstrated resilience by decoupling from traditional equity markets, with some analysts highlighting its performance relative to gold during the volatile period. Analysts are now watching key technical levels, with some projecting potential moves toward $80,000, though others urge caution at current valuations.

Bitcoin Nears $74,000 Amid Mixed Signals Before FOMC Meeting

Bitcoin touched $74,000 as spot demand increased and bull flag patterns broke, though analysts caution against excessive optimism at $73,000 levels. Ethereum outperformed Bitcoin while fear and greed indicators showed conflicting sentiment ahead of tomorrow's Federal Reserve decision.

Bitmine Acquires 60,999 ETH in Single Week, Pushing Total Holdings Above 4.6 Million Tokens

Bitmine Immersion Technologies purchased 60,999 Ethereum tokens in one week, bringing total holdings to over 4.59 million ETH valued above $10 billion. The acquisition drove BMNR stock up 8-9% amid broader Ethereum strength.

XRP Surges Past $90 Billion Market Cap on Institutional Demand and Technical Breakout

XRP rallied sharply driven by institutional crypto demand ahead of the Fed decision, strong ETF inflows, and a technical breakout above key resistance levels. The broader cryptocurrency market recovered with Ethereum also surging as bulls regained control.

Oil And Gas Events

US Permits Iranian Oil Tankers Through Strait of Hormuz to Maintain Global Supply

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent announced Monday that the US is allowing Iranian oil tankers to pass through the Strait of Hormuz to help maintain global supply. Bessent stated the US is "fine with" the natural opening Iran is providing, despite reduced tanker traffic following Iranian attacks in the region.

Oil Volatility Continues as WTI Swings Between $99 and $94 Amid Iran Conflict and Bessent Comments

Oil markets experienced sharp intraday swings as WTI crude fell 4% below $95 after Treasury Secretary Bessent predicted prices "much lower" than $80 within months. Despite the selloff from above $100, traders maintain bets on WTI returning to triple digits by week's end as Iran conflict enters third week. RBOB gasoline futures held steady at $3.03, showing divergence from crude's volatility.

Drone Attack Ignites Fire at Abu Dhabi Shah Oil and Gas Field

A drone strike caused a fire at Abu Dhabi's Shah oil and gas field, prompting an emergency response from authorities. No injuries were reported in the attack on the UAE facility. The incident forced Dubai International Airport to divert flights while crews worked to contain the blaze. Gulf nations have disputed Iran's assertions that it is not targeting civilian infrastructure, though no attribution for this specific attack was provided in initial reports.

European Markets Eye Gains as Oil Volatility Dominates Global Trading

European markets are positioned to open higher Monday despite persistent volatility in energy markets. Crude oil prices remain elevated above $100 per barrel amid escalating US-Iran tensions and supply disruption fears in the Strait of Hormuz. Dubai physical crude has surged near $150, trading at a $40-50 premium over paper contracts. Natural gas prices are rising on supply concerns, while edible oil costs have increased by ₹11-20 per kilogram in March. Oil marketing companies have fallen up to 5.5 percent on the elevated crude environment. JPMorgan recommends buying the dip despite war fears unsettling markets.

Gas Prices Could Reach $4 Per Gallon Amid Global Energy Supply Concerns

U.S. gasoline prices may hit $4 per gallon as global oil markets face pressure, according to GasBuddy analysts. European natural gas prices are projected 40% higher through 2027 due to Iran conflict and potential Strait of Hormuz closure creating supply shortfalls, HSBC reports.

Macro Events

Canadian Inflation Cools to 1.8% in February, Below Forecast

Canada's annual inflation rate decelerated to 1.8% in February from previous levels, slightly below the estimated 1.9%, Statistics Canada reported. Monthly inflation rose 0.5%, missing the 0.7% forecast. Core CPI trim increased 2.3% year-over-year, with the decline attributed to base year effects.

Supreme Court to Hear Trump Administration's Bid to End Migrant Protections

Powell to Remain on Fed Board Through DOJ Investigation

Court papers from US Attorney Jeanine Pirro's Federal Reserve investigation reveal Chair Jerome Powell intends to stay on the Board of Governors until the legal probe concludes. While Powell's chair term expires in May, his governor term runs through January 2028, and filings indicate he feels obligated to remain throughout the ongoing investigation.

Healthcare Events

NRx Pharma Surges on FDA Ketamine Drug Pathway; Structure Therapeutics' GLP-1 Draws Analyst Praise

NRx Pharmaceuticals stock jumped after the FDA outlined a path to New Drug Application approval for its ketamine-based depression treatment. Structure Therapeutics gained attention from multiple analysts, with William Blair reiterating an Outperform rating citing considerable market opportunity for aleniglipron, while Leerink highlighted the company's oral GLP-1 achieving best-in-class weight loss results. Rhythm Pharmaceuticals announced topline results from its Phase 3 EMANATE trial. Aktis Oncology shares rose 7.2%, while one biotech stock surged 75% last quarter, attracting $9 million in new investment. BioNTech emerged as a potential value play given substantial cash reserves. Medical Facilities reached a new 52-week high, contrasting with Medicenna Therapeutics hitting a one-year low.

Esperion's Bempedoic Acid Gains Top-Tier Guideline Status for Cholesterol Management

Esperion Therapeutics received multiple Class 1 recommendations for bempedoic acid in new ACC/AHA dyslipidemia guidelines. Separately, Eledon achieved insulin independence in islet transplant trials, while competition intensifies for oral GLP-1 diabetes medications.

Federal Judge Blocks RFK Jr.'s Childhood Vaccine Policy Changes

A federal court halted the Trump administration's attempt to reduce recommended childhood vaccines and invalidated Kennedy's vaccine advisory panel restructuring efforts.

Structure Therapeutics Weight-Loss Pill Shows Promise Against Novo and Lilly Rivals

Structure Therapeutics shares rose following positive trial data for its experimental oral GLP-1 weight-loss drug, positioning it as a potential competitor to oral treatments from Novo Nordisk and Eli Lilly. Separately, Eledon reported insulin independence results in an islet transplant trial.

Roche Secures CE Mark for Alzheimer's Blood Test as AstraZeneca Gains EU Cancer Approval

Roche obtained CE marking for its Elecsys ApoE4 blood test detecting Alzheimer's disease risk variants, while AstraZeneca won EU approval for Imfinzi in early gastric cancer treatment.

Rhythm Pharmaceuticals obesity drug fails late-stage trial despite $7M investment

Rhythm Pharmaceuticals' rare obesity treatment missed primary endpoints in late-stage study, even as company secured $7 million in new funding. Meanwhile, Structure Therapeutics' oral GLP-1 achieved best-in-class weight loss results.

LifeMD Appoints Atul Kavthekar as Chief Financial Officer

LifeMD has named veteran healthcare finance executive Atul Kavthekar as CFO and announced additional leadership team expansions. Separately, KKM Financial increased its stake in CVS Health.

Fixed Income And Interest Rates Events

Bond Markets Turn Risk-Averse as Iran Conflict Threatens Inflation Outlook

Bond investors adopted defensive positions ahead of the Federal Reserve meeting as Middle East tensions raised inflation concerns. Canada's inflation eased to 1.8% in February, though analysts warn this represents calm before an energy-driven storm. The dollar retreated from recent highs while the Canadian dollar strengthened against the USD. Bond managers increased bets on central bank policy divergence despite war-related inflation risks supporting higher rates.

Treasury Yields and Dollar Drop as U.S. Signals Flexibility on Strait of Hormuz Access

Treasury yields fell over 6 basis points and the dollar weakened after the Treasury Secretary indicated willingness to allow select Iranian, Indian, and Chinese vessels through the Strait of Hormuz, easing oil market tensions and sending Brent crude down $3 per barrel.

High-Yield Investment Vehicles Face Sustainability Questions as Bond Markets Turn Cautious

Business development companies are offering yields between 14% and 27%, with HRZN and SCM among those paying double-digit returns, though sustainability concerns persist. Bond fund managers are increasing divergent rate positions while investors adopt risk-averse strategies ahead of the Federal Reserve meeting, citing geopolitical tensions involving Iran.

London Stock Exchange Launches Dollar Bond Sale Amid Heavy Investment-Grade Issuance

The London Stock Exchange initiated a US dollar bond sale for debt refinancing, contributing to an anticipated busy day in the investment-grade debt market. Meanwhile, Luxembourg successfully sold 2.5 billion euros in bonds maturing March 2036. Market attention also focused on high-yield opportunities, with business development companies offering yields between 14% and 27%, though sustainability concerns persist.

Oil Plunges 4% as Treasury Secretary Bessent Predicts Sharp Price Decline

WTI crude fell over 4% Monday, dropping from $99 to below $95 per barrel after Treasury Secretary Bessent predicted oil prices could fall "much lower" than $80 within months. The intraday low reached $94.31, marking a $4 decline. Despite the crude selloff, RBOB gasoline futures remained stable at $3.03. Traders had initially bet on WTI reaching $100 by week's end. Market analysts warn that avoiding a consensus supply surplus in 2026 through demand destruction rather than production adjustments could prove catastrophic for the industry.

Treasury Yields Fall as Oil Retreats Ahead of Fed Decision

U.S. Treasury yields declined Monday, with the 10-year yield dropping over 6 basis points to 4.22% as oil prices retreated from recent highs, marking the start of a Federal Reserve decision week.

Earnings Events

Arena Group, Getty Images Miss Earnings Expectations Amid Mixed Quarter

Arena Group reported fourth-quarter EPS of $0.11, missing estimates by $0.02, while revenue of $28.2M fell short by $5.8M, sending shares down 4%. Getty Images swung to a loss with EPS missing by $0.04-$0.05 despite revenue beating expectations at $282.3M, though weak 2026 guidance pressured the stock lower.

SEC Considers Ending Mandatory Quarterly Earnings Reports

The Securities and Exchange Commission is preparing a proposal to eliminate mandatory quarterly earnings reporting, potentially allowing companies to report financial results only twice annually instead of four times per year.

Mixed Earnings Day as Semtech and Assertio Beat Estimates While Others Fall Short

Semtech reported fourth quarter adjusted EPS of $0.44, narrowly beating expectations by $0.01 with revenue of $274.4M. Assertio Holdings exceeded estimates with non-GAAP EPS of -$1.06, beating by $0.74, and revenue of $13.52M surpassing forecasts by $7.32M. W&T Offshore and Comtech Telecommunications missed revenue targets.

Telos Corporation Reports Strong Q4 2025 Results with Revenue Surge and Profitability

Telos Corporation exceeded Q4 2025 earnings forecasts, driving stock gains. The company achieved a 77% revenue increase and reached a profitability milestone, marking significant operational improvement for the quarter.

OPAL Fuels Stock Surges Despite Q4 Earnings Miss on Strong EBITDA Growth

OPAL Fuels reported fourth quarter 2025 results that missed EPS forecasts but drove shares higher, as EBITDA jumped 51% year-over-year driven by production growth.

Dollar Tree and Telos Release Fourth Quarter 2025 Earnings Results

Dollar Tree Inc. and Telos Corporation reported their fourth quarter 2025 financial results, with both discount retailer and cybersecurity firm holding earnings calls to discuss quarterly performance with investors and analysts.

Metals Events

London Metal Exchange Halts All Trading Due to Technical Issue

Trading stopped across all London Metal Exchange contracts, from aluminum to zinc, as the exchange works to resolve an unspecified technical issue. Dealers cannot place orders while awaiting information on the outage's cause.

Corporate Actions Events

Beyond Meat Delays 2025 Annual Report Filing on Inventory Review

Beyond Meat announced a delay in filing its Form 10-K annual report for the year ended December 31, 2025, citing an ongoing inventory review, sending shares lower in after-hours trading.

Salesforce Launches Historic $25 Billion Share Buyback Program

Salesforce has initiated a record $25 billion accelerated share repurchase program, its largest buyback ever, driving shares higher as the company focuses on AI growth initiatives.

UniCredit Launches €35 Billion Takeover Bid for Commerzbank

Italy's UniCredit has made a €35 billion takeover offer for Germany's Commerzbank, seeking to exceed a 30% stake through an exchange offer, likely setting up a prolonged battle for control of the German lender.

Janus Living Targets $740M in Senior Housing REIT IPO

Healthpeak Properties' Janus Living launches IPO of 37 million shares priced at $18-20, seeking to raise up to $740 million with potential $5 billion valuation for the seniors-focused REIT.

Kaltura to Acquire PathFactory for $22 Million in Cash

Kaltura has signed a definitive agreement to acquire PathFactory.ai for approximately $22 million in an all-cash transaction, advancing its mission to power agentic digital experiences.

Stick figure drawing doodles 10LightStar01 is live!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq9CwopUH1s

This is a fever dream of a digital age—a sprawling, surrealist tapestry where crochet patterns meet high-speed police chases, and the Grim Reaper is just another guy trying to manage an office.

Here is the story of The Day the Grid Glitched.

The Morning Shift

The day began in a flurry of #ModernCrochet and chaos. At the local craft guild, a "Magical Crochet Gargoyle Quitter" was throwing in the towel, leaving behind a trail of freeform stars and loose ends. Meanwhile, in the corporate underworld, the Grim Reaper CEO adjusted his tie at his administrative desk. "It’s my panel," he hissed to a room of trembling interns, "and you will respect the filing system."

Outside, the physical world was losing its grip on reality. A green avocado was spotted zip-lining across the forest canopy, screaming "Wee!" while a dairy cow and a buffalo experienced love at first sight on the prairie. It was beautiful, until the "Authorized Official Shambulance" sped by with off-key sirens, driven by a DoorDash driver who had clearly taken a wrong turn at the interstate.

The Midday Madness

By noon, the legal system was buckling. A divorce attorney was arguing for a 4% inflation alimony increase, while a stubborn police officer attempted to ticket a driver for doing 55 mph, despite the driver’s GPS claiming otherwise.

In the skies, things weren't much better. An airplane pilot abandoned the cockpit—not because of an emergency, but to fix a sewer leak in the bathroom. This left the County Sheriff’s helicopter pilot to pick up the slack, shouting the command code "Accel UR L8 twerk" into his AI navigator.

Back on the ground, the "Microwave Preventive Maintenance Team" (composed entirely of trolls in tin foil hats) was conducting a rigorous inspection of a breakroom, while nearby, a police officer and his best friend were formally interrogating a hairball.

The Evening Gala

As the sun set, a tarnished copper green armadillo drone took flight from the roof of a skyscraper, filming the most anticipated event of the year: the wedding of the Grim Reaper and the Reapress. They exchanged vows of "invisible threat control" while a dancing xenophobic xylophone provided the music.

However, the party was crashed by a Giant Plushy Octopus looking for hugs and a "Slip and Fall Droidbot" seeking a lawsuit settlement. In the corner, Holly Bitcoin gave tap dance lessons to a singing pickle, while a group of mushroom soldiers set up tents inside a refrigerator’s cooling system to escape the heat.

The Final Stitch

As the clock struck midnight on March 8, 2026, the digital world began to "URL barf." Google Meet was exposing phone numbers, and the #DreamTrackAI was telling everyone to "try again tomorrow."

The chaos finally settled into a quiet, bizarre peace. A Jack Rabbit and a Skunk shared a moment in the woods, and a single claymation blue bird tucked its family into a nest made of crochet scrap yarn. The world was a mess of unredacted reports, stuck cruise controls, and singing rainbows—but as the Star and Hammer cartoon faded to black, one thing was clear: nobody was above the law, but everyone was definitely above the limit for weirdness.

The scene opens on a high-stakes, high-altitude pursuit. Jack, a lanky cartoon cat with whiskers that twitch like radio antennas, is dangling from a vine. Hammer, a stout mouse wearing a tiny tool belt, is standing on Jack’s head, squinting through a pair of brass binoculars.

"Target sighted," Hammer squeaked, pointing a tiny paw toward the horizon. "And he’s moving fast."

Zip-lining across the triple-canopy rainforest at a reckless velocity was Avocado. He wasn't just a fruit; he was a daredevil with a pit of pure adrenaline. Wearing tiny goggles and a GoPro strapped to his pebbly green skin, Avocado let out a high-pitched, "WEEEEEEEE!" as he blurred past a troop of confused howler monkeys.

The Chase is On

Jack didn't have a zip-line, but he did have cartoon physics. He grabbed a passing toucan by the feet, and with a rhythmic "Bang! Bang!" of Hammer’s literal mallet against a hollow log to create a beat, they swung into the sky.

"We need to intercept him before he hits the Cloud Forest!" Hammer shouted over the wind. "If he zips into the 'Modern Crochet' sector, we'll lose him in the yarn fog!"

The Obstacles:

The Sourdough Rapids: A river of fermented dough they had to skip across.
The Giant Plushy Octopus: A sentient obstacle that tried to hug them mid-air.
The Interior Microwave Team: A group of trolls in tin foil hats who were trying to "inspect" the jungle for grease fires.

The Final Stretch

Avocado was gaining speed, his pit humming like a drone motor. He was headed straight for a transitional train scene—a steam engine locomotive puffing purple smoke across a trestle bridge.

"Now, Jack! Use the yarn smudging technique!" Hammer commanded.

Jack pulled a scrap of neon-pink crochet string from his pocket. With the grace of a Vaudeville performer defying gravity, he whipped the string forward. It looped around Avocado’s stem just as the fruit was about to clear the canopy.

ZIP—THWIP—BOING!

The tension on the crochet line acted like a bungee cord. Avocado didn't crash; he performed a perfect, mid-air 360-degree flip, his tiny goggles fogging up with joy.

The Landing

They all tumbled onto a soft mossy log near a Box Turtle who was busy falling in love with an Armadillo. Avocado bounced twice, his GoPro still recording the whole "Brainrot" investigation.

"Why were you running?" Jack panted, his fur standing up in static-electrified tufts.

Avocado adjusted his goggles and looked at them with wide, watery eyes. "Running? I wasn't running. I was just trying to get to the Holly Bitcoin Tap Dance Lessons before the early bird special ended."

Hammer looked at Jack. Jack looked at the Armadillo.

"Well," Hammer sighed, putting his mallet back in his belt. "At least we got the footage. This is going to kill on #DreamTrackAI."

VLq-x3ou19E	untitled
0TMbRWk4WjI	The making of Jack and Hammer, cartoon cat and mouse, bang
27LTuniln4k	untitled
r384VZLXu3A	It's go time with Grandma and hot grits in the ring
Ttbtm4D_gWo	pole vault remix
hxicWioIX38	How to take the loose end of crochet stitch, put it over the main strand, fold loop
_Tn8GDwQxAU	Police officer can't stop car due to cruise control being stuck #crazycars #carwars
HIXe_nKGXwA	Untitled Help I can't put my foot in a shoe without a hole in the shoe
SbURuV-AfKw	Untitled Magical crochet gargoyle quitter I Quit doodle art animation
wXRoZkjgg1Y	pingrok Being hold off in an ambulance
Ws8yubqGV9k	Join the National Guard.
Y42d9L-TPl4	Untitled You U Ewe and I, eye aye have gone on a date a couple of times haven't we?
UK9nCeVtutU	Untitled door dash ambulance Authorized official shambulance services
s0zhJiIvVI4	How to skip one crochet, stitch and count to 3 #moderncrochet #beginners
6rfXhtSP5xk	Cuddlefish jellyfish love at first sight in the ocean, prairie of plankton.
LGU4J83SAxs	Green avocado goes zip lining A top the forest canopy Wee
arAPCXGIWCs	Untitled Hapoy Jake Patrick Wesley Day
jS4zJkPKeY8	Untitled I love ❤️ you Singing pickle
qzs14JC3VUY	Holly Bitcoin Tap Dance Lessons
PzLApGgcrDw	Unlisted cat Video Bob chicken Crane
ZSNHIl-H_YA	Trolls in tin foil hats Following.\n The microwave team That looks like fun
cK5lfQtYRL0	Ma.\n King a crochet larger one, 2, 3, Stitching.\n A square. Basic beginner, crafting.
iao2E0zcS0Y	The life of bug, Mushroom soldiers set up tents inside of refrigerator cooling system #theoutcasts
jsnY8MNuZ34	Best cooling system on the planet fixed by maintenance refrigerator repair #applianceexperts
_UGblsuJUnw	My artificial intelligence tool on YouTube is really popular, it's telling me to try again tomorrow.
5VYC607cWVw	#DreamTrackAI pretty little baby, wiggle loves give me
WWB1d8vomoI	Gorilla vs Laughing cactus toy
8kKjbmBxytA	Hippopotamus manatee love at first sight
UuRPSEgUONw	Untitled Sunshine smiles, fluffy ponies Singing rainbow
MuaLc-TsHb8	unlisted can't touch this
Oh1h3EYHT6w	The interior microwave, preventive maintenance checks and services team Inspections
qytG5WJmjH0	Me police officer and best friend interrogate a hairball #brainrot very bizarre investigation
aqgdVA9zh90	Jack McAuley Doggy Day Care
1hJy1EeMquw	Unlisted Unclassified
zMfSaHTThaE	How To freeform crochet flower 🌼 #doodle
dKb1qRc3o9o	yeti best friend and cactus doing winter dance ballet in snow
hKynH3bUS1s	Dairy cow and Buffalo love at first sight on the prairie
CxNKsmayhGY	Crochet string scrap 🪹 nest for baby birds
nDzxUT-XaqY	Untitled Steam Engine LocomotiveTrain transitional scene
GQGUaP3GCH8	Geminisyria Cooking Pizza in outdoor Stone fire pit with Trollba
Avz8V3n_GMg	The airplane pilot has left the cockpit and is fixing a sewer leak in the bathroom. #squawkbox
tpOQC0ZO2Qs	The making of cartoon Jack and Doodle Fire Rescue Airplane
J2QnlZxfPDE	Unlisted
zO11ZBlTuk0	untitled cat reflections
vxy39kHdeYo	Grim Reaper CEO It's my panel and you will respect me, Administrative desk job clerk opening
82j_JU_L2Hg	When space force attends a retirement party for National Guard, Major Foughcup
Q3gfpuOd1tU	I've tried to like people. I really have, and then they start talking and breathing And stuff
dA7Hm9ZCG3Q	Divorce attorney Request 4% inflation alimony from divorce judge For ex, wife, survival
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kzE4Z4gWIgQ	Untitled working with grown men in the corn 🌽
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FqthJO69_oA	County Sheriff helicopter pilot gives command code to GPS AI- "Accel UR L8 twerk" #quadcopters
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9OxrKTj2p-Y	March 8, 2026
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8U1Yd92_9Tk	Mirror Love Bird
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C2JpWEjuXB4	Happy Valentines Day from crochet Pup stitch
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boavDBvWgjs	Flashing police car drone lifts off from a top of very tall roof of a skyscraper.
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Bitcoin Breaks $74K! Rebound Logic Explained

https://i.redd.it/gvyq9ftt9hpg1.jpeg

Every day Bitcoin is online & working its future potential value grows.

For context I work in Finance at a major institution. In my 30s. I'm no expert, nor can I read the tarot cards. But I think I do know more about how the financial system works than the average person.
I'm a secret bitcoiner, ie in the closet. If my bosses knew I had 75% of my net worth in BTC it would affect my chances of a promotion. They would look at me like a crazy person.

The software that I work on indexes the US GAAP rules. For those who don't know US GAAP (Generally Accepted Accounting Principles) are the standardized rules and guidelines that companies in the United States must follow when preparing and reporting their financial statements so that financial information is consistent, transparent, and comparable across organizations.

Back when the ETF was in the process of being approved and they publicly announced updates to the rule set to include language for Bitcoin I knew this was a HUGE DEAL. They don't just update these rules on a whim. I bought as much as I could afford. Prior my money was mainly in 2 pieces of real estate. But I was getting slowly bled out from taxes and insurance.
Bitcoin to me solved all of these problems, store of value, portable, can't print it, no dealing with renters, etc etc. From my studies in college I had a background in cryptography but I'm like a C student in a smart class of guys, where I can't solve any of the complex coding problems but I can read and understand it lol. And so when I read the white paper for BTC I went ghost white in my room and started panicking that I needed to get my position ASAP. At the time the price was 30k. The 30k price signaled to me that other smart people had also reached the same conclusions as me but not a critical mass of them yet otherwise the market cap and price would be way higher.
The bitcoin standard makes a ton of sense to me. We store "value" in all sorts of stupid crap just because it's "rare" and we collectively deem a thing to have value, examples would be pokemon cards, art and so on.

I mistakenly bought into these super cycle price predictions, thinking the banks and all the major players would start buying like mad men since Bitcoin is the only truly scarce asset. Although we did get tons of buying, we did not get it to the levels that would send the price soaring to 500k and beyond. Lately we've been taking a beating, but wait zoom out.

Something really cool happened.

Trillions flowed into gold in a short window and caused the price to move 200% up in a 2 year window. My friends and I were SUPER disappointed, as we expected bitcoin to be the asset that absorbed this capital. It ended up being a flight to gold, ugh, but that's not necessarily bad news for us.

Gold market cap went up $7–11 trillion over the last 24 months.
That is WILD that there is that much money just sloshing around the system in a way that it can flood into a shiny rock haha. In my opinion it's a question of WHEN not if that money goes into BTC. If a similar event was to occur in the Bitcoin market, and 7 trillion flows into it, the price could easily sail past 500k bear case. We've never actually had so much capital flow into it that it exhausts the available supply on exchanges. Here's some moon boy math for you, theirs about 1 million BTC on Coinbase Advanced (liquid supply). If you multiply that by today's price of 73k, you could in theory buy the entire supply for 73 billion, obviously it doesn't work this way because as you buy more the price would rise to ensure a price supply equilibrium, but it's good to use this example to illustrate how little bitcoin is for sale on Coinbase and how little money it would take to detonate the price to Pluto. 11 trillion would be a thermonuclear bomb going off on the price. Lord only knows what happens if that capital flow was to turn towards bitcoin. My entire portfolio is setup and waiting for that possible event.

It's just going to take longer than what we initially expected.

On the phone with my friend I was telling him think about this, gold has been around since the dawn of time, it has a confidence that was earned with humans through trust due to its crazy long history. I mean it's fascinating to think you could travel back to nearly any place at any time period with some gold coins and get some food and shelter. It's humanity's original money.

Now that makes me think, Bitcoin needs more time just existing. We are not going to store 37+ trillion of value into something that is only 17 years old. It's a baby. And when you think about how fast this baby has grown in 17 years 1.5 trillion total market cap that screams that humanity is embracing this new asset SUPER fast. We are just impatient creatures by nature, me included. I was dreaming about this apartment in Italy I wanted to buy back when we were smashing all time high after all time high.
But here we stand now, at 70s, and I had to think deeply about my convictions and I stand by them.

Sunday, March 15, 2026

🔮 $SPY & $SPX — Market-Moving Headlines Week of March 16, 2026

https://preview.redd.it/t6ri39ojhapg1.png?width=1486&format=png&auto=webp&s=c634f515930fd5f41d2fdaecfb6dc35135bfbbf0

🌍 Market-Moving News

🧠 AI Event Risk Meets Macro Stress
Nvidia GTC arrives as markets remain pressured by inflation, rates, and slower growth concerns. The key question is whether AI enthusiasm can offset a still-fragile macro backdrop.

🏦 Fed Decision Dominates the Week
The March FOMC meeting is the central macro event, with markets focused on whether policymakers reinforce a higher-for-longer stance after recent inflation pressure.

🛒 Consumer and Housing Tone Stay Fragile
Recent spending and housing-related signals continue to point to a cautious consumer backdrop, keeping domestic demand under close scrutiny.

🤖 Physical AI and Automation Stay in Focus
Industrial automation, robotics, and infrastructure themes remain relevant as companies look for productivity gains in a tougher cost environment.

🪙 Crypto Remains Under Pressure
Bitcoin and crypto-linked risk assets continue to struggle against a backdrop of tighter financial conditions and reduced rate-cut optimism.

📊 Key U.S. Economic Data
Week of March 16 (ET)

Monday, March 16

Tuesday, March 17

Wednesday, March 18

Thursday, March 19

Friday, March 20

None scheduled

⚠️ For informational purposes only. Not financial advice.

📌 #SPY #SPX #FOMC #Powell #PPI #Macro #AI #NVDA #Housing #Rates #Markets #Stocks