Early 2015 was a difficult part of my life as I was separating from my daughters -mother after spending 7 years together. It also became the time that I was trying to go out and figure out life on my own as a professional poker player and hitting a nice score for $40k, and trying to listen to the voices in my ear for the past 5 years prior, “why don’t you play full time?” As if it was that easy to just “do it”. So what could go wrong? Freshly single and ready to take on a career with more responsibility than i could ever imagine.
So I did. The freedom, the confidence, the success. It is a fun ride and started off well. Our semi-private $5/$10 ($2500 buyin cash game) game back home was poppin and my hourly rate was embarrassingly high over the 1.5 years that it ran consistently at least one 8 hour session per week. Then I got lazy with cash games and started chasing the marquee tournament score.
2016 WSOP was amongst the most exciting time in my life. I was playing a huge schedule, backers were confident, my skills were sharp, and I was ready to fly. It culminated with an opportunity in the $2500 NL event, where I made the final table.
I’m not gonna lie, it is all that it was cracked up to be. Even being able to sit next to my buddy Darryll makes me question if we are all just living in a simulation. It was great. The final table was going well, and then a hand happened with 7 left that is the wrong type of marquee hand that we were looking for.
In high stakes poker terms, my hand looked like suicide. I have always valued my ability to read opponents and interpret why they are giving that read to me more often than most. I was playing against an opponent that tried to angle shoot me by “accidentally” 4betting me pre-flop for the minimum by faking a call. Not only did I peel his 4b with A♦️2♦️, but I called a check raise allin on the flop of A♥️J♣️T♣️... I was chip leader with 7 left and my opponent was 2nd in chips. This pot was for 35+% of the chips in play! First is $440k and 7th is $45k! But my opponent showed me the K♠️K♥️ the way I expected him too. Q♦️ on the river was all she wrote. He had a 24% or so chance to win this hand on the flop. Arguments could be made that it’s irresponsible to play a pot this big even if I was 76%, but that wasn’t really part of my personality at the time. All this hard work, all this work, all this effort completely removed.
My chips are low, I am still playing for so much money that it would be irresponsible to be anything but laser focused. “Oh well, could have happened a lot earlier in the tourney” I remind myself. I laddered one spot and got $54k for my efforts. I spent $140k in buyins that summer. Unfortunately this math doesn’t work out for the hero very well.
Was I... Depressed? Probably Angry? You betcha Sad? Of course Questioning life? More than ever
Unfortunately I didn’t handle it very well or responsibly. Poker had really cheated on me for the first time. For the 2nd time I found out how much something you love can hurt. I went out on a bender and didn’t respect my relationship with my job at that time. I looked for alternative paths.
In 2017 I sold life insurance, and it really opened my eyes to how misleading the traditional financial world intends to be. I also found this beautiful system known as bitcoin. Which opened my eyes to Wall Street. There are so many consequences of the way this system is built. I had an opportunity to buy 40 BTC in 2015 for $10k, but I wasn’t ready for that dive yet. I’m wiser, more responsible, and enjoying the upward rise.
In the first week of Jan 2018, Crypto was booming and reaching all time highs across the boards. I remember we were openly crediting this flood of market cap with “oh, obviously the institutional investors needed the fiscal year to start for their new quarterly reports to get in!” Boy were we stupid.
2018 has been a miserable ride in crypto and I don’t know where it’s going. I know there are many people out there that are misrepresenting themselves and I don’t want to be one of them. This downturn sucks, but I decided that I’m going to do something about it. I got a job. My old job in the poker room where I used to play from time to time over the past 3 years. I’m investing my time and resources into my future. I’m an investor.
I’ve been asked a lot of weird questions and been asked some things that have been confusing for me. My life has honestly never been better. “Had to put your tail between your legs and get a job?” Signifying as if these last few years were some sort of failure to me.
On the contrary, I’m investing in myself, my family, and my future more than I ever have. I’m an investor at heart. I’ve made some mistakes and poker will always be a portion of my portfolio. I’m always going to be a “poker-guy” to a group of people. Just like I’m the “crypto-guy” to a lot of people, “old MTG bro” to many, “YJackpot representative” to some, “Million Dollar Poker Coach” to a select group, “old asshole from high school” to a bunch of others, Apple support for my loved ones, a father to my daughter, and hopefully your podcast guy, YouTube guy, golf guy, life advice guy, and all sorts of guys-to others in the future!
Who I am to you is a combination of your perceptions plus your assumptions.
I’m educating myself to be the best investor I can be. When I go to the gym I’m investing in my health. When I go to the Hallmark for a “thinking of you” card for my girlfriend, it’s an investment into my future wife. When i invest in bitcoin I’m investing in too many things to list. When I help my daughter with her homework it’s an investment into OUR future.
Likewise, when you neglect your health, your romance, your family, and your finances, you become the product of those circumstances. It’s up to you if you want to decide to be better. Every moment of every day counts.
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