I'll try to make these shorter.
830AM: I'm at the diner having corned beef hash and a short stack of pancakes. Breakfast of champions.
845AM: Phone call.
ring ring
FC: Go for FC
1: Oh good! You're open! I'm on my way!
FC: What do you need? I'm eating breakfast at the diner.
Some people like to take a buttermilk pancake and smother it with syrup. They're wrong. What you do is get a little space on the plate, pour the syrup on the plate and dip the pancake in it. You control the syrup better, you don't have soggy pancakes and it's just a much better way of syrup delivery. I don't understand people who can't eat pancakes right.
I shove a bit of my short stack in my gullet.
1: I wanted to stop in and buy some 380!
FC: You're welcome to stop by and I'll tell you I don't have any.
1: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I've called 30 dealers already and nobody has any!
FC: Welcome to the real world.
I get to my desk and get to work on emails, quotes, generic administrative bullshit that you all don't want to hear about.
10AM: Ortho surgeon comes in from the other day to get more guns and ammo. What started as a transfer from one of my gun show buddy dealers turned into a multi gun multi case of ammo sale and we talk bitcoin, current events and all that jazz. He likes how I think and I can speak his language. I set him up with enough pistols, mags, ammo and jacketed hollowpoints to stave off an angry mob.
Super nice guy, I think we'll get along just fine. He writes in the check memo field 3% 2A 1776. I get a chuckle. I tell him he should see some of my form 4's. He's looking for a surefire mount for his can that he's got in jail at another dealer and I tell him that the mounts are unobtanium and when he gets his stamp he's looking at a batteries not included on christmas day scenario. My honesty seems appreciated.
12PM: Lunchtime. No phone calls of dumbassery. This is weird. Wait. NO PHONE CALLS OF DUMBASSERY. I have left my phone at the diner. Fuck.
Guys, let me give you some advice. Tip waitstaff well. Tip pregnant waitstaff even more. It's cheaper than child support. Jan put my phone behind the counter and I snag it and thank her.
I catch up on voicemails and emails and all that jazz. Guys looking for ammo, guns that nobody can get, etc. I'm told that Gen 4 guns are now out of production much to my skepticism. Whats this mean? Price of the gen 4 just went up.
My business model is simple. I buy when nobody wishes to buy. I sell when nobody wishes to sell, and I get top dollar. I also get called a profiteer, price gouger and part of the problem. The loudest boos come from the cheapest seats. My 1630 pickup walks in super early and I close out his 4473 and get that handled. Maybe today won't be that bad.
2PM: Telemed with Dr Kaplan. I head home and get on telemed. He's gotten the schedule wrong. Instead of Friday at 2PM he put in Thursday at 2PM yesterday. I emailed him to correct it and instead of 2PM on Friday he's put in 4PM on Friday. Yikes. Oh well. I head back to work and get a shotgun pickup done for a lady. It's her anniversary and it's a 3 hour wait on background checks every friday afternoon. She can't wait that long and I don't blame her. I tell her I'll get this done and ready for her next week and to enjoy her anniversary dinner.
3PM: Fedex rolls in with a resupply on ammo. This is unexpected. AND my rep got me two more VP9's for the show this weekend! I don't even bother searching the box, I just throw it with the rest of my gun show stuff and head back home.
4PM: Therapy time. Dr Kaplan is super sorry the scheduling goofed. Pandemic problems, I get it. I tell him about all the shit you people on the internet give me and customers/phone calls, etc. He says I've made tremendous progress.
5PM: Email comes in. Credit card arbitration fraud completed. Visa has resolved the issue. It is not in my favor. I am forced to pay the admin costs of the arbitration ($500+) and absorb the cost of the fraudulent transaction ($500+)
With fraud, credit card holders have little to no liability. This is in theory shifted to the card issuer (read: BANKS) that have fraud reserves that manage the card accounts. In the case of fraud, Visa gives me two options
A: Eat the fraud as we tell you to, you're out the fraud. No recourse.
B: Send it to arbitration, we will FIND A WAY TO STICK IT TO YOU for the fraud, and you're out the fraud and the arbitration admin costs. No recourse.
By the way, all decisions are final. Decide.
The credit card issuing banks are cozy with visa and have fraud reserves, so what Visa does is make it so expensive for small busineses to fight fraud that it's either accept X expense or accept X expense + Y plus Z if you try to stick it to the issuer, who is besties with Visa since they know what side their bread is buttered on........ you get the picture.
It's an expensive week at FC HQ. Fuck this shit.
On Monday I called a guy and told him his background check isn't allowing me to release the firearm. Don't show up. Here's your transaction info if you want to call in and fix things, here's who you got to call. He seems pissed but understands.
On Thursday, the guy calls me up to pick up his gun. He's drove over an hour to get to my place and can't locate it. I tell him I told you not to show up and you showed up anyways? On my lunch break? He says YOU TOOK THE MONEY OUT OF MY ACCOUNT THAT MEANS I GET MY GUN! I tell him I didn't do squat. Here's the info for who you need to call and fix things. Get the government to give me the A-OKAY to deliver and you get your gun. He seems pissed but understands.
Today is Friday. It's 5PM. I get a call from him demanding his money. I don't have his money. He wants to know why he can't get his license. I don't have his license. He wants to know why there's a problem with his firearm license. I tell him there is no problem with his firearm license. He wants to know why he can't get his gun. We go over this one more time. He emails me and asks me for which licensing agency he needs to talk to to get his gun.
I call him back. There's no license issued by the state that lets him get his gun. He says okay okay, he's got it misunderstood. He wants to know the deal with the license issued by the county that lets him get his gun. I say no there isn't a license. He then asks me what he needs to get his federal gun license to get his gun. We go over this one more time and I tell him THERE IS NO LICENSE. CALL THIS NUMBER AND RESOLVE IT. He wants me to give him his money back. This is the third time I've done this this week. I don't have his money. He tells me I took the money right out of my account. I'm ready to tell him his firearm will be sold on consignment, I'm taking 50% as a service charge and problem solved but I keep my cool. I give him the info AGAIN that he needs to talk to the government. This is not my problem. He screams at me telling me he knows that he had a lot of problems and questions on the paperwork but that should not keep him from getting a gun and that I'm railroading him.
All this to make $10.
By the way, this is the guy who got confused on the question that asked "if you are a US citizen leave this blank" - he read it out loud and told me he didn't understand the question.
Fucking hell. I'm done with this. I'll give you the info, don't call me back unless the government gets their stuff worked out.
I unpack the order shipped from Bill Hicks. There's a 6 pack of P320 mags in there.
One of the ladies at the gun club, literally 80 year old grandma CLEANED ME OUT of 40S&W ammo a few weeks ago and she asked me to get her a 6 pack of mags. Because biden comin to take the mags. I told her the warehouse is 3 weeks behind and a week for shipping, so if he does not remember she ordered them - don't be surprised. I can't find her number, I call around to the gun club and I get her number and I call her and tell her her mags are in.
FC: Hi, your magazines are here!
Grams: What magazines?
FC: The mags you wanted me to order you.
Grams: I didn't order any.
FC: You sure? We covered this a few weeks ago, I told you not to forget, I'll charge you when they come in.
Grams: I didn't order any.
FC: Okay, if you don't want them I'm sending them to the gun show.
Grams: What kind are they?
FC: Sig 320
Grams: I don't know what you're talking about.
FC: ooooooohhhhkay. I'll find another home for them.
(9 minutes later, she leaves me a voicemail)
Grams: OH MY GOD WILL! IS THAT YOU! I THOUGHT YOU MEANT MAGAZINES LIKE THE KIND YOU READ! YES I NEED THEM! CAN YOU BRING THEM BY TONIGHT?
FC: Sure.
I drive over to her place and get her her mags. I grab an extra rifle from my stack for the gun show loadout. I've got about 1.75 tables of merch to stretch out and make look good on 2 tables for this weekend.
Between this and denied background guy and the visa fraud bullshit, I'm seriously giving thought to shooting myself with this Sig P220 West German fullsize I keep handy just for these occasions. if only I hadn't sold all my 45ACP Federal HST last week.......
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