Research Chemicals

“Give me the fucking rollerblades.”

Something had arrived.

By mail.

And I was excited.

Nervous but excited

There was someone small.

Like a child.

And I brought him inside.

And there was a car.

The car pulled up beside me.

And I was trying to get out.

And I was sat down here.

And I was on the computer.

And I was trying to type something.

And my heart was pounding.

I was scared.

I was really really scared.

Something in the kitchen.

I pressed my thumbs into his eyes.

Those tiny feet under the table.

And I was crawling.

And that light.

And then I’m here.

And I’m in this blanket.

And I’m here.

“You’ve gotta run.”

I was sat at my computer.

There was a message board on the screen that looked familiar. It shimmered slightly, I couldn’t quite focus.

My head was a dense fog.

There were these waves of absence in my mind I was trying to piece together.

But I wasn’t doing so well.

I wasn’t sure where I’d been or what had happened. Just that some things had changed and I ought to find out what they were, and this screen was a good place to start.

11:24 user/peter says:

[deleted]

user/adam joined the discussion.

11:29 user/adam says:

haha! wtf?

11:30 user/peter says:

[deleted]

11:31 user/adam says:

wait.what?

user/peter says:

[deleted]

user/adam says:

From who?

11:33 user/peter says:

[deleted]

11:35 user/adam says:

lmao we’re there little X’s where his eyes should be? tf

11:35 user/peter says:

[deleted]

11:36 user/adam says:

Pressed them inside? tf wrong with you?

11:37 user/peter says:

[deleted]

11:37 user/adam says:

okay enough dude you need to chill. I’ll come see you

11:38 user/peter says:

[deleted]

11:40 user/adam says:

Okay you either need to fess the fuck up or calm the fuck down and stay there. I’m coming over.

11:42 user/adam says:

and fuck you if this is a joke. Not funny.

12:11 user/adam says:

yo answer the door or ima break it down.

I wasn’t there.

The sun was beating down through a clear lapis sky. I could see for quite a stretch from the top of this hill.

I could see all the folks out on their front lawns stretching down the road beneath me. Kids were playing out on the grass. A mother was teaching her child to ride a bicycle. A few folks had their sprinklers on to stop the grass getting too dry. Further down a guy was washing his car, spraying his dog every so often. The dog would try to snap at the water.

The whole avenue painted this perfect picture.

All those smiling faces.

And I had these rollerblades.

I was at the top of the hill with these rollerblades and I was strapping them on. They were really tight and my thumbs were all greasy so tying them up wasn’t easy. I was kind of tip-toed.

But I was headed down that hill.

That much I knew.

I don’t think I’d ever done this before. Rollerblading that is.

I took a clunky step forward.

And it came naturally.

I was a natural.

I pulled my feet together and rolled over the event horizon.

The wind wrapped my face and swam through my hair as I zipped down. My shirt billowed behind me as I carved a shallow ‘S’ shape, weaving my way down the hill.

This was perfection. This feeling of freedom.

I wasn’t scared anymore.

I lifted my face to the sun and outstretched my arms to feel the resistance. My hands clasped at the thick, warm air that threaded through my fingers.

The hill flattened out. I opened my eyes and took a look around.

There was that little girl on her bicycle. I slowed my pace a little, coasting along side her for a moment.

Her mother smiled a peculiar smile.

And I smiled back.

I passed through the arch of a sprinkler, ducking under a hazy rainbow. Feeling the cool droplets pool in my hair and on my face.

It felt good.

There was that dog.

His fur was soft and silky.

I held him close and for a moment there was perfection. We stayed there for that moment.

Then this wave came in and a long shadow cast over us. The man towered over us.

“Hey, hey easy there buddy.”

And everything turned.

An air of menace, from the man.

Something had changed.

He wanted the thing.

He’d destroyed the moment and was headed straight toward me.

So I ran.

And the man chased after.

I ran as hard as I could.

I wasn’t gliding anymore. My feet were slapping the the scolding hot tarmac hard.

“Hey! Hey what are you doing!? Get back here!”

I got down the hill as fast as I could. The street broke off and there was a small pathway down to the canal.

He was catching up. I needed to get out of here.

I threw the thing I was holding over the fence into the canal and wound my way along this bushy path that led to a bridge crossing over into town.

I think I lost him.

I glanced back down the canal from the bridge.

I could see a commotion in the canal downstream where I’d thrown the thing I was holding. A couple of guys were flapping about in the water. A woman was shouting from the bank beside.

They were distracted. And I was safe.

But I was breathless. The heat was pounding down on my scalp. I could feel my skin burning, the beating sun no longer comforted me, it was blazing.

I needed to get out of here.

I needed to get out of these clothes.

My body was burning.

I needed to get these clothes off me right now.

The air was so thick I couldn’t breathe.

I struggled out of my shirt.

I couldn’t breathe.

I don’t know what came over me.

I was vibrating.

Everything was vibrating.

I grasped my throat and threw myself forward.

And the world span around me.

I closed my eyes.

And I was falling.

I spread my arms.

And I let it consume me.

The ocean.

It carried me along.

And I was crawling.

Until it got dark.

And I felt safe again.

“Give me the fucking rollerblades.”

I don’t know how much time had passed.

“Joe?”

It was dark now.

I’m not sure how I got here.

It was cold and dark and I was shivering.

I was in some kind of catacomb with this blanket around me. The brickwork was old, a well crafted arch swept overhead. Flickering in a warm light.

I felt like I’d been here for a while.

And there was this flame.

In my hand.

A small candle in my hand.

“Joe?”

A woman.

She was dirty. A dirty woman.

“Joe!? Wh- What did you do!? Joe!?”

Joe was on the floor beside me, naked.

I’d seen him before.

I pressed my thumbs into his eyes.

The dirty woman was shaking him.

‘Something in the kitchen.’

The dirty woman lifted his head in her grubby hands.

I moved the candle in closer to see.

Joe had his eyes pressed into his skull.

Like a child

It looked familiar.

“What did you do!?”

The dirty woman exhaled like an animal.

“You motherfucker! Ahhhhgg!”

And she launched herself at me.

I could feel her hands clawing at my face and grasping at my blanket as I kicked her away.

She wasn’t strong enough. She wasn’t in a fit state.

I pushed her away and she fell into the blackness with a splash.

It consumed her.

And it was dark again. Except for the vague moonlight that cast over naked Joe.

What was this place?

I gave Joe a push with my feet, until he released from the ground.

And the blackness consumed him too.

And I sat there quietly for a while.

My candle was gone.

My eyes had adjusted to a vague light up ahead. I could see the moonlight bounce off the damp brick walls like it had bounced off Joe.

I wandered towards it, Joe’s blanket wrapped around my shoulders.

The stars were out. I could see upward for miles. I wandered along for a short while watching the sky before I found a ladder leading up there.

I was up on the roadside. The street lamps beating down on me. Bright.

It was quiet around here. The shutters were down and the curtains drawn. The ground was cool on my feet.

‘Those tiny feet under the table.’

And I just kept walking.

I think there were people.

“Hey buddy... Buddy.”

But I didn’t want what they were offering.

I just kept walking.

Down these streets with with their shutters down and the curtains drawn.

I remember one place.

This place had light. Blinding light streaking overhead. Rows and aisles of gleaming glass.

It sparkled.

“Hey get outta here!”

And there was water.

“Hey I said get outta here!”

A figure approached me and took my shoulders.

“Fucking junkies man...”

And hit hit the ground. Hard.

The ground was cold.

I spread myself across it.

The grit against my bare chest and cheek.

This heat spreading through me.

Then a jab in my side.

“Hey move it!”

I was lifted up.

“And take your fucking blanket.”

And pushed on and deep into the town.

‘The car pulled up beside me.’

“There! There! That’s him!”

Then they took me.

And I tried to resist.

But I wasn’t strong enough.

The men wrestled me into the back seat, pinned me down and we took off in a blur.

The street lamps stripped across the window as I peered out. Pinned to the back seat. My arms behind my back.

The lights blurred red, white, yellow, green. They spread. Dazzling.

There were voices in the car. Panicked.

One figure behind the wheel.

Two in the back with me.

Then black.

‘And I brought him inside.’

I came to a while later.

It was bright in here and I was tied down.

Those voices again, in the next room. Vague.

“Jesus fuck!”

“We need to get out of here. Now.”

“Wh- Well who is it?”

“How the fuck should I know?”

“Is he dead?”

“Of course he’s fucking dead.”

“His fucking eyes man what the fuck!?”

“You didn’t see this!?”

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

“We need to call the cops.”

“Call the cops... Are you insane!?”

“I’m getting the hell out of here. Right now.”

“And what about him?”

“I don’t know!”

“Well what’d he take!?”

“I don’t know... He was on about research chemicals or bitcoin or some shit.”

“Fuck! Uh... okay... okay... We untie him and we go.”

The footsteps drew close.

Someone was close.

Their voice was familiar.

“Peter? I don’t know if you can hear me. But you’ve gotta get up buddy. You need to get up now and you’ve gotta run.”

“You’ve gotta run.”