I'll probably see the results of my efforts next week, though.
The weekend was stressful. The weekend is always stressful. I'm cooped up in here and I rely on my mother to take me anywhere. Try the summer, though. Oh, and my mother fully believes me when I say that I can't take being cooped up in here. She's even repeatedly asked "If grandma isn't well, will dad and I be able to go to France to see her? The way you always say you can't take being in your apartment, I don't think we can leave you!"
Why the eff wouldn't you do something about that, then? Since I got to living in this apartment, my mother has kept asking me "Do you still like your apartment?" and "You don't like your apartment anymore? You SAID you wanted your own place to live!"
My grandmother died of a stroke in June or July, but the last time my parents had gone to visit her, yeah, I had found myself having great difficulty being cooped up in here for five or so days. This was before I had applied for SNAP benefits and before I had built my PC and gotten service with an Internet service provider.
I still feel angry at myself for spending what Bitcoin I had had, but hey, I could've just gotten my checks and gotten a PC, no Bitcoin involved. Would that have made it feel better? Because my mother didn't want to help me with my latest refund check, I ended up depositing it in an NJ ABLE account. My deferment with my loan servicer was approved. As I always state on this subreddit, I'm eligible for full relief from those student loans due to my disability.
I should probably remove my security freezes with the credit reporting agencies. I had set them when I was at NJIT and my mother was panicking because those agencies were sending letters addressed to me to my parents' house. I was following Brian Krebs's advice on how to handle the Equifax breach.
Last weekend, my brother and his wife were over with their baby. On Saturday night, I was invited to pizza at my parents' house with my parents and my brother and his wife. After returning, my mother had kept saying "Did you have a GOOD TIME?" She had eventually told me "You looked STRESSED!" Sure. I'm not a social person. I don't do just being dropped in with a group of people to do chit chat with them.
On Sunday, I kind of broke down with my mother on our nearly daily drive. She went asking me "What happened TODAY?" and then "What happened YESTERDAY?" I think just being around my brother like that "being social" had affected me. During that chit chat, my brother had asked me "I forgot! Are your playing games right now or not?" My mother had replied "A LITTLE BIT! It keeps him OCCUPIED!" I hate how my mother can now jump to that answer because I've repeated it over and over again.
I can't do brain stuff all the time. I've tried to do brain stuff all the time. Also, each time I try to get video games out of my life, I can't. There's not enough for me to do. That's why I've bought some things that are in this apartment two or even three times. When I was most stressed in the hospital, I'd verbally say "Characters are for BAD CHARACTERS!" and "Characters are for EGREGIOUSLY BAD CHARACTERS!" That wasn't out of being crazy. It was out of being stressed.
I don't know if actually playing video games had contributed to how I had reacted on Sunday, but I can say that my brother constantly shutting my mother up when she had spoken in regard to me was not okay. He kept waving his hand to prevent her from saying more. Also, the fact that I had to not allow my father to hear about my plans to transfer to a four-year school had bothered me.
This all goes even further than me buying a car when my parents have tried not to allow me to have one. If they had treated me normally and given me all the privileges that my brother had, then there would've been no need for me to attend the video game and My Little Pony events that had left me with so much trauma. I wouldn't have had to forcefully transfer to NJIT after exhausting all possible options and finding that it was impossible to leave my parents' house otherwise. My brother and his wife have gone to so many places and my parents lost it when I just went to Baltimore and back.
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