Well, I was going to try to wait for Wednesday, but that will be the middle of the week and I just may not have the time. But I'm just a few days short of one year off of dope. Holy fuck. It's unbelievable.
My top dose was 140MG and I'm at 52 RN, doing -2 a week, with my next pause at 50mg. My pauses last as long as I feel is necessary, usually about 2 months. But then the taper continues at 2mg a week for 10 to 20mg.
Starting when I was 18, (I had done opiate pills younger since like 15 but I never really cared for them) I tried dope for my first time. For about a year I wouldn't even think about it, but I would do it when it was around. Then ofcourse after some time I was finding myself hoping it would be coming around. That graduated to I can do it myself every once in a while. That lasted so long I remember my dealer at the times girlfriend would be such a bitch to me because she asked me about being dopesick and I was like wtf is dopesick.
Even after that "wtf is dopesick" incident it wasn't until about 8 or 9 months after that that I was like eh ima take a few days, go to my girlfriend (at the times) college and hang with her this week. Well needless to say the next day I was "running back to town to get somthing". That's when I knew fuck there's more to this.
I wish drugs were actually taught in school. For me they covered weed cigarettes alcohol and coke and heroin and lsd all in one saying each one had the same outcome. And obviously when none of them do why should dope? I do blame myself but wish there were proper education on it.
Anyhow I went from bad to worse, stealing and in and out of court and rehab.
Eventually I somehow someway landed myself a part time job. And then got on the clinic.
These two things for a while turned me into a functioning addict. My part time job soon wasn't enough, and I turned to starting a business for no other reason then to fund my dope habit.
I borrowed some money from my dad (only 2k) and actually was able to do good business, pay him back quickly, and afford more dope. And from there I met a new dealer, it was much cheaper, and at the peak he needed me to do some stuff for him in exchange for dope, At what he claimed was his price. My God. I went from 80 to 100 a G to 30 and 25 a G.
I couldn't talk myself into quitting. I could feel myself becoming more dependant, unhealthier, and just sick. More sick. But its 50 to 75% off now, last year's me would kick my ass for blowing this deal.
Finally I realized that I had to quit or I was going to die. I was a monster. I wasn't stealing anymore, and was able to hide things better from family, and yet things got worse.
Well somehow on February 17 of last year I was on my way to get a bag at Walmart. I got that bag and went home and did that bay. And february 17th was my last bag. I told myself like I had 100x before this is my last bag. And somehow I did it.
I recall then and still recall all the time hearing a lifelong addict say "I will allow myself to do dope for the rest of my life, but I will force myself to take one year off and see how I feel then" I don't know if he did it or not. But my thinking then was I could atleast do a week or two.
Well I recall standing in line at the clinic on day 11 of no dope. I had thought to myself "over these last 11 days I've gained a lifetime of knowledge and experience" Or atleast I felt that way.
Within the first month of stopping use, I started to see what I was spending on dope building up for myself. I've posted about this here before on throwaway during my 3 month 4 month etc. That my dope spending were piling up insanely. For someone like me it was insane anyway.
I switched over to full time work at my job about 1 or 2 weeks before that Feb. 17 decision. And got a pay raise. And since then have gotten a hosting engineers license and another pay raise.
My business that was built to fund dope is now not funding dope, and I effectively doubled my pay by doubling my hours, and since have gotten 2 raises. One for switching full time. One for getting licensed.
Now just on my job I'm making more than I could have imagined I would when I was just part time, never mind the business.
At first I traded in my truck and got a new kia, nothing special but it's new and not a pos like my truck was. But lately I've been able to reinvest the business proceeds into the business, and it's paying my personal expenses.
My pay checks pay my car and bills and build up besides that. And I'm free to invest the rest of it.
Some of the investments I've been free to make since quitting dope:
Silver bullion - purchased mucho silver in March of last year. Pretty much all the money I had saved not buying dope for the last half of Feb and first half of March. The lowest point was the high 11 dollar zone with premiums about 15 bucks an oz on bars and 18 on coins.
UAVS- this was a rocketship for me. Took it off my buddy Kevin's advice
Bitcoin/XLM/algorand and other crypto- XLM and BTC are my oldest bets, with other crypto being more recent
Last year guys in January, I had less than 5000 dollars total between everything. Way less. Including the 2g my dad let me borrow.
At my last tally, my net was 43K, not including the Kia because it's not paid off and idk how people would count that so i just didn't, but if you do count it,, since ice been driving it let's say 56 or 57k total. It's a 2020 Rio 5.
NONE OF THIS would be possible without methadone, and hard work. None. I tried rehab, I tried subs, it didn't work for me. I hate being chained up in rehab. I want to be free to be doing somthing, to make a deal or go to work, I cannot sit around and be sick in rehab. Methadone was a saving grace for the person I am at my core.
Even tho it took over two years after I started the clinic to stop using, Methadone was a huge catalyst in the chain of events that is my life going forward.
I am 24 years old, and what I have today, just a year ago I would have thought was a light year, a solar system away from me.
I have no doubts that I will crush my goals, I will eventually be off of Methadone slow and steady at my clinics recommended pace. They gave me the pace I'm at. I have no doubts I will be a millionaire one day.
Becoming something like that isint even impossible, but what I truly in the deepest pits of my heart did believe was impossible, I've conquered. Nothing is impossible. There truly was a time where I was resigned to doing dope for the rest of my life. No more.
I couldn't picture going back. I don't know when it happend, I know early in I would see saw with the thoughts, but by the end I would say to myself "doing that us giving up everything you have built in such a short period of time, imagine what you will have if you stay strong".
I'm sorry if I sound like I am bragging or whatever but to be honest, when you beat odds like stopping dope use, brag about it, you deserve it. None of this would be possible if I were on dope. None of this possible without METHADONE.
Thank you methadone.
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