Friday, April 23, 2021

How do I bring up that I have a very nice savings account to my frugal SO?

My SO grew up on the poorer side. I grew up in upper middle class. However, most of my savings is my own. It's because I had jobs since I was 16 and through college my parents didn't let me pay for anything. Spoiled, yes, but they wanted me to build up my savings. They put money in there too to start it as well.

I ventured out on my own after college and my parents still helped me with rent as I was working retail. Any money I got for graduation, birthday, etc. I put in that account. I don't really spend money on physical stuff. I prefer experiences. Also for a few years I didn't have friends, so I never really went out to spend money on experiences (travel, bars, events, etc.) That was a sad time in my life, but I did save a lot of money.

Before I realized it, I had 25k saved up.

Now my SO and I are talking marriage and moving east to buy a house. We talked a little bit about how we will handle bills, but that's about it. He's buying the house and wants to do it by himself. I am hesitant to help with the down payment because I won't be able to get that back if anything happens until we're married.

Anyway, the situation that led me here was he was talking about Bitcoin and I said I put money in the stock market. He was shocked that I had $3,000 in some stocks. Now I am afraid what he will think of me when I tell him of my savings. Will he look at me differently? Will he be mad that he bought me meals and drinks all this time (I take turns paying for his but he still pays more)? Will he be upset I didn't offer to help with down payment? How do I bring this up?

Tldr; my SO grew up poor. He knows I grew up upper middle class. I have 25k saved up and I'm worried how he will see me once I tell him. I think he thinks I'm living paycheck to paycheck like him. How do I bring this savings up?

Edit: to add I now am completely on my own financially.


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