I barely have any relationship with my younger brother with whom I last had any real conversation about 8 years ago. We were very close growing up but it declined after I got married. A little recap......
Me and my brother grew up very tight. We did not have a whole lot and Dad spent his life trying to provide. Mom was basically a single parent. Due to this I was very protective of my younger brother, and he followed me everywhere. In late teens and early twenties, we shared advice, work and personal looked out for each other and overall had a very solid relationship. Much thicker than your average American sibling relationship. All went downhill after I got married at 31 years of age!
When dating and right after marriage, I tried to continue the relationship but at that it seemed like my brother changed. I felt he hated my wife and wanted to ruin the relationship. Also, I was newly in love and blindly believed whatever my wife told. Today, it seems my brother tried to maintain the relationship with all his might but I slowly got frustrated with him and drifted apart. Coupled with the fact that I always wanted to be somebody and got incredibly busy with two kids and career. After the death of my Dad when I was 36 my brothers stoic response irked me which was a major crack. We completely lost touch after my Mom died when I was 54.
COVID and all got me thinking about life and slowly I realized that certain things that my wife did and said earlier about my brother did not make sense. I can remember life events very vividly and after talking to my wide for the last couple of months, she broke down and told the truth. When we got together, she deliberately tried to alienate me from my brother and family in general. Over the course of a week, she very coyly told me how she lied, manipulated situations and outright fabricated stuff to make my brother appear vindictive. For example, when Triumph Rocket III first launched my brother wanted to gift me one but how my wife literally spun that into an attempt by my brother to orphan my kids or when he suggested about investing $5000 in bitcoin how it was an hair brained scheme to bankrupt us. Interestingly, she also turned my kids against their uncle who is "whack job" to them. Her reasoning is that she grew up watching her father's family hijacking him and she wanted to prevent that.
However, not all blame is on her. I was also chasing my futile dream to be somebody the world would recognize and did not pay much attention to trivial family matters. I am incredibly sad and heartbroken to have done this. My brother was the sweetest, most caring guy I have ever met and rebuffed him, cursed him out and said very mean things whenever he reached out. I called him once during COVID and we spoke for about five minutes!
A little information about both of us. We are both very well-off, my brother more so than me. I live in CA and he lives in NV. His investments in TSLA and bitcoin really took off. As far as I know, my brother has remained a single to this day and took care of my mother till her last days. He loves cars and motorcycles. I remember when we were in our twenties and early thirties, we would discuss how both of us would restore a Mustang or build a house together with unique features! He is a great guy.
Through the last year, I have realized my mistake and my way of treating him. I was a terribly misinformed fool who threw one of best relationship I have ever had. How do I repair this? Is this possible? Can we once be again be like in our twenties and do the stuff we wanted to do it together? How do I talk to my wife who sees no wrong in her role in this? Is it too late?
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