The job hunt begins again.

So....at this point, I'm over panicking over the fact that I spent my Bitcoin BECAUSE it wasn't a one-off event. Every opportunity to regain what I had spent, and I had many, I had squandered. I had no control over it. I never even looked at it from an "investing" standpoint. I just really love cryptography. I had 1.44 BTC that I spent in April of 2020 because I was going CRAZY from stress from being in this freaking apartment all day. It's really tough to be where you live all day, every day, each day of your life. And no, being on campus is not the solution. I hate being on campus. The students are very overwhelming for me.

The isolation aspects of COVID have been a blessing for me. Back when I used to drive from 2007 to 2011, my father had once told me "Don't drive just for the sake of driving!" He told me a lot of strange reprimands. Well, my ideal work environment is not working for home. It's not working in an office, either. It's working "on the go." You know, like those developers at Starbucks. I don't want to be what people call a "digital nomad."

From time to time since moving into this apartment in 2019, I've used up all my energy searching for jobs. I just started again and I feel like I have a good chance at this one place, but I had to consent to a background check applying. I have a rap sheet. I'll still be on probation for another 10 months.

I think even worse than being where you live all day, every day, each day of your life is being where you live all day, every day, each day of your life with no way out of it for the foreseeable future. Because of that, I have extreme anxiety and fatigue. My mother takes me for drives nearly every day, which I don't see to be normal. Often, when my mother shows up to my apartment, I am very stressed. All this messes with my judgment.

While I can't work in my ideal work environment right now, I can take an office job until I can work in my ideal work environment. An office job would be K-12 all over again for me. School was really difficult for me. I even got kicked out when I was in fourth grade. When people hear that school wasn't easy for me, they assume that I was made fun of. I was, but I never talk about that because there were things about school that were far worse for me than being made fun of. I've just never done well with organized things and authority.