Bruce Wayne is sitting in a chair, strapped in with leather belts. He can't move his arms or legs and is inside of a large industrial warehouse. His chair is spray painted green and his mask is gratuitously graffitid with a purple and green mark of mayhem. The joker has been here. Jack Napier, the Joker, cackles from a far. His hoots and howls reverberating off of the concrete walls and floors making a ringing in the distance and a menacing echo. The moon shines brightly in the clear night sky as batman is forced to stay put in the jokers chair.
Joker: ah-ah-aaaaaahhh....! So if it isnt batsy watsy! Or should i say...brucy waynee?...
Batman growld and in his usual raspy and threataning voice, but only threatening to crime doers, lets out a quick remark.
Batman: The Joker ... you will never get away with this!!!
J: but i already have guano! Soon the whole water treatment facility will b flooded woth my signature slime... and nobody will be the wiser.
B: tell me about the slime joker
The joker creeps in from the shadows revealing his ugly clown mug. His face paint is cracked and sweaty, revealing his skin at the nape of his neck. His signature get-up purple tuxedo is stained with the wicked spray paint color combination of purple and green, the craziest colors.
J: the slime? Oh yes! The slime! My silly slime! The kookie crazy joker smiley slime!
B:joker...
J: go on bayman. Say it! Say the name of my slime!
Batman winces at the obscurity of the jokers lingo on most days, but the greatest detective couldn't let the slime infest the waters of gothams water supply. Who knows the effects of the slime? It could cause immense damage and suffering, so batman had to do what he had to do.
B: ... tell me about the kookie crazy joker silly slime...NOW!!
J: well fine bats, but you arent doing anything about it any time soon! BAAAAH HAHAHAHAHA...! Anywho...my slime starts off my victims with a symptom of giggling. Then they chuckle, then they smirk uncontrollably of course...then once they have enough liquid nitrous oxide in them to kill them...they DIE LAUGHING! but we all know that NO2 has to be kept cold...so my slime is actually my own special concoction! It can produce the effects of nitrous oxide at room temperature and in liquid form! Hehe!..hoohoo! HAHAHA GAHAHA!!
Batman. Also known as Bruce wayne, is shaving and trying to escape the chair with all of his might and muscle. He needs to stop the slime. All could go to hell if that slime were to enter the water supply. It could start a new era, they would probably call it something like "the slime years". It would be a catastrophe. Batman couldn't let that happen to gotham.
J:well batty i think the time fonally came for you to try out my new toy!
B: what do you mean joker?
J: i mean what i mean! Just that! I have a little game we can play!
A big electric machine pops out like a cartoon out of seemingly nowhere and just kindof attatches itself to batman. It looks like an machine that would put electricity in things and shock or zap them with volts and watts of power.
B: you'll never get away with this bullcrap joker...!
J:oh but i already have! Now settle down while I read you the rules, were going to play a new game this time bruce!
B: joker, what the hell are you talking about?
J: its time to play "cucky cringe!"
Out of the darkness about 20 of the jokers goons fill bleachers stolen from the childrens school football field. Huge LED lights blare in batmans face and light up a stage. One extra small goon that resembles a no life gamer mans the camera and audio mixing of what appears to be a livestreamed event. Crazy music starts playing like that of a carnival or a circus. The game begins as the live feed to reddit.com live plays on a huge monitor that is duct taped to a wall facing batman, so he cam be tortured furthar by the exlerience.
B:joker...!
J: ok batman! Lets hop to question one!
B: what!?
J: dont worry you'll learn the rules as you go! Question ONE!
"based"
B: w-what the he-
A thunderous bolt of energy booms and zooms through the batmans body, shocking him making him jitter and jive with zappingly hot electricity.
J:WRONG! that is based!
B:joker IM GOING TO PUT YOU IN AN ARKHAM ASYLUM IF YOU DONT TELL ME ABOUT THE SLIME RIGHT NOW!
J: question two!
"BTS"
B: the korean band?...
Another lightning spike strikes bruce and breaks his mind a bit furthar. There is a smoke cloud accumulating above him from frying parts of his suit and skin.
J: HEHE! CUCKY CRINGE!
B: what the hell kind of game is this!? Am i just reacting to the words? What are the rules even here?
J: thats a good game of cucky cringe for you! There are not many rules if you cant figure them out already!
Joker's livestream has over a thousand viewer on reddit live, it is being streamed on r/gotham.
Batman thinks to himself B: i guess its just a game of either reating based or cucky cringe to whatever the hell he is talking about. Hes such a jaded individual i dont even know the correlation of all of these things... but ill find a way out... i have to...
J: " incel blackpill "
B:...
J: i said, incel bla-
B: cucky cringe
A silly horn toots and some goons start to laugh and clap at bruce
J: aah! I believe the conditioning is working... you will learn the lingo quickly around here batman!
Meanwhile,The riddler and the penguin and Bane are all in the riddlers discord server watching the jokers livestream meanwhile.
Riddler: ah i love a good show of cucky cringe! Bane: yes, it pleases me greatly. Penguin: gwak gwak...guys i dont really know what the heck here is going on...gwakgwak...mind explaining...?
R: sure penguin. So in a game of cucky cringe, the joker uses that electrical machine him and i built to use right there where the batmans sitting in to condition the player into being like one of us. Through the elecrrocutions, it induces seisures. Usually he just zaps a new goon to haze em, but we have the bat here, so its time to taze him!
Bane: yes. Basically he is using negative punishment with the electric convulsions to enforce batman to get more answers right, and using the silly or crazy horn sound to positively reinforce the correct answers.
P: so ... gwak... its a bit like pavlovs dog...? Gwak?
Bane: pretty much soon he will be slobbering for more of this unhinged lingo and will be a slave to us, and gotham will be ours, yes.
R: guys guys hes doing some more!
J: Among us sus imposter
Batman: based- AAAAH CHHHCHH AAAAAAAAHHHGHH
J: hehe! Discord nitro!
B: based based!
J: E girl twitch streams
B: cucky cringe!!
Horns begin to doot and toot as batman becomes more correct with every guess. But the conditioning had begun. He was slowly encroaching on insanity from the moronic mannerisms of jack napier.
Bane is meanwhile currently crossposting about the livestream. He makes a lot of clacky clicking noises with his corsair k65. Its a durable keyboard, and it is fitted custom with cherry mx browns. Jas a collection of his favorite keyboards. Bane can achieve 122 words per minute after a meditation session.
Penguin takes a long drag on his comically large cigarette and wafts a large cloud of smoke into his Hyper X Clouds microphone.
P: gwak? hey bane? Mind going on push to talk, gwak?
Penguin takes a long drag out of his comically large cigarette. He leans back 169° in his black and white DX racer chair.
Bane ignores the penguin because he thinks the penguin is beong cringe, and keeps typing away about how the stream is popping off.
P: bane? Gwak?
Joker: "The mandalorian on disney plus"
Batman: based!!
J: "baby yoda"
B: based!!!
J: "elden ring"
B: based!
Batman slobbers and begins to slur his words.
J: "poggers"
B:BAAAASED!!!
J: "Fragging out in matchmaking"
B: based!!! Based...
The riddler adjusts his razer headset and gets close to his razer microphone to make sure he is heard loud and clear.
Riddler: Batman drools! His spit makes pools!
J: "doom eternal ost"
B: Baaaseeed!
J: "anime tomboy girl friend"
B: Based!! BASED!!
J: "reddit gold"
B: baaased!
Batman is losing his marbles at this point. He is definitely losing brain cells at a dangerous rate.
J: "goth mommy"
B: based!! Based! Based!
J: "soyjack twitter"
B: based! BASED!! BA-
Batman is hit with over a thousand volts of electricity. This was almost too much for him.
J: oooooh how unfortunate batty! You were on a roll! Soyjack twitter is cucky cringe!!
B: more cucky cringe!! More!!
The goons are losing their cool and are cheering for batman as he continues the game. The stream on reddit gains what would be its peak at 50428 viewers. All of Gotham was watching cucky cringe. All of gotham was watching their hero become a pile of mental mush.
J: "furry cringe compilation"
B: based!
J: well done batman, a lot of people screw up on that one!
"Bitcoin"
B: cucky cringe!
The joker whips out his WaynePhone8-XL and snaps a selfie of a goofy batman saying based, cucky, and cringe nonstop.
J: I'm posting this one in the server! Hheheheh!!! A HAHAHAH!
the joker posts the photo using his cellular data to riddlers discord server.
Riddler: what the hell did jokes post in general?
Mr. Freeze joy reacts the selfie the joker posted.
Bane: haha. joker always posts hilarious images. It does bring a smile to my face.
Penguin: gwak gwak gwak! You know i always love a joke from the joker...!
The riddler removes the image.
Penguin and Bane: hey!
Riddler: NO MEMES IN #GENERAL ! RULE NUMBER 2 JOKER! THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING JOKER!
Joker: "kendrick lamar to pimp a butterfly"
B: based!!
J: "Ape picture board apes yacht club"
B: based!
J: "seethe"
B: Cucky cringe.
J: "league of legends"
B: Ba- OOOOHHH AAAAAHHAGAGAAAAAAAAAAAGAGAAGGAGAGAGAAGAAAAAHHHHHH...huh...huuh.....huff...huh...
J: oooooh too bad guano! Thats cucky cringe!
"Derpina"
B: cuc- no !! BAAAASEEED!!!
J: "not busting it down sexual style"
B: cucky cringe!!
J: its working goons, the batman is becoming... purple-and-green-pilled!!! Are you watching gotham? Are you watching as your dark knight suffers under my silly games on reddit?
B: based cringe! Cucky! Cucky cringe! More cucky criiinnnggggeee!!!
J: heehee! Ok just a few more my droog to be!
Batman is sundered by the electricity...or is he? Secretly, batman was wearing a special rubber suit this whole time. He is merely pretendeing! The batman is putting on a show and the big reveal will come!
B: more cucky cringe!!
J: "panda express chicken fried rice coupon"
B: based!!
J: "chocolate soylent"
B: cucky cringe!!
J: "Doja cat and cardi B"
B: ba- no Cringe!! Cucky cringe!!! CUCKY CRINGE!!
J: "Cottage-core Shrigma society"
B: Cuck- OOOOOOHHH GAAAAH gaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOAAAAAHHHHhhhh....!!! Waaaaaahhh!
The Riddler's discord is enjoying the show with push to talk enabled.
P: based! Haha! gwak...!
Bane: how is that based? I thought for sure that would be cucky cringe?
R: shut up bane you are a cuck!
P: bane it's an ascetic aesthetic. Gwak. Its about returning to a simpler time in nature, gwak, and basically not having a lot of material posessions.
The riddler chuffs and spews an emerald cloud from his razer box mod directly into the webcam, obscuring his image of him sitting in his razer gaming chair.
Bane: I'm not a cuck. I'm not cringe riddler. Do you want to suffer? It would be an interesting duel, your riddles versus my power.
The riddler server mutes bane for the next half hour. His fat cloud dissipates, revealing via his aebcam that he is no longer present sitting down. Where could he be?
Riddler: SERVER RULE NUMBER 3 Bane! Remember to read the pinned post! No arguing with server admins!
The joker hoots and hollers some more. Batman giggles and froths at the mouth only seeming to know the words based, cucky, and cringe.
J: "throwing used car batteries into the atlantic ocean"
B: BASED!
J: "vine"
B: baaaaased!
J: "tik tok trending"
B:cucky cringe ohhh cucky...cucky cringe!!
J: "cope"
B: BAAASED!!
J: "trad AND redpilled"
B: BASED BASED BASED!!!...BAAAAASED!!!! Based!! Oh based do more please!! Please more cucky!! I'm ready for more cucky cringe!! MORE!! BASED!! more... CRINGE oh cucky...oh cucky! Oh MORE oh more oh CUCKY CRINGE!!
The ruse is nearly up, batman has successfully persuaded the joker to believe that his mind is broken. How intelligent of batman to pretend the whole time! And such genius to wear an electric proof bat suit! Batman is the best super hero.
J: ok guano... your final question!
"Gotham city's water supply"
Batman smirks.
B: based.
Joker slaps the button to release the electrocution. Nothing happens but a small amoujt of smoke rises from the material.
Batman stands up and takes the handcuffs and leg cuffs off with ease.
J: no...No!
Jokers goons all get up at once
J: GET THE BAT!
B: actually joker, the bat gets you. Now is that what you would call cucky cringe? Or is this based?
The joker looks behind him in absolute horror as the entire gotham police force takes off their goon-like costumes. He begins to chuckle as sweat and a tear sheds down his face in hilarity and fear.
J: no- n...NOOOOO!!! HEHEH!!! hooh! How IRONIC!!! hehahehhahhe!!!
Commissioner Gordon takes his goon-like disguise off and gets up from behind the camera.
Gordon: well joker, the joke's over. And we have the last laugh. You're going away for a looooong time in the arkham asylum! And the water? Were taking care of it. Nice try, but youre going to need a lot more slime and a lot more brains to out joke gotham.
J: hehe! My slime!! Heheheheheh... MY SLIME. . failed! Hooohoo.... hoh... my slime..!
Gordon puts the cuffs on a depressed, but still chuckling joker. Then hands him off to the cops and returns to the batman.
G: BATMAN YOU REALLY DID IT BATMAN YOU DID IT! YOU BEAT THE JOKER AGAIN YOU DID IT BATMAN!
b: just doing my job.
G: how did you do it batman?
B: well, ill explain it again, but you do remember from the briefing i thought, but whatever gordon i will explain it again ok? I wore a rubber suit, because rubber does not conduct electricity so i was immune to the machine that the joker used to try and use electroshock therapy on me to turn me into one of his goons. The real mystery is, i guess, all of those words and phrases he was saying. What even are those things? I am aware of who doja cat is, and joe biden, but some of the other things? Cucky cringe? Cope? Bored ape yacht club? It all went over my head and i was simply guessing weather or not they were cucky cringe - whatever that means or based - whatever that means, and i would simply pretend when i smelled fumes from parts of my suit burning up so he would think that I was actually being electrocuted.
G: a job well done batman! Im so glad we perfectly rounded up all of the jokers goons in gotham and got a chance to disguise our selves so we could execute the mission together batman.
Batman: just doing my job. Gotham can rest easy tonight, now that we locked away this "cucky cringe" criminal.
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