My guess

I'm guessing this will trickle down to the Europeans next. I was thinking about the dream i had where the tower fell and all communication ceased. Makes you wonder. SMH.

I think the ego is such a disease. It seems like it's really visible in so many situations. I'm writing this with a sense of neutrality so that no one can determine what side. Only the few who know me would know, and they don't really care. No one to really express my worries to, but this void. Reddit land. I think at some point when Mike asked me ... "What did you see? ".. i said "reddit"... "Read it." it's on,"read it. "... write it down... "Read it." lol, these little memories I have that surface. I can't remember ever agreeing to being interrogated in this manner. Did i agree to this, Mike? What did i say to allow you to be such a scavenger?

I have no idea what Mike knows... I said plenty I never should have... I don't know how it was possible, but chances are he threw that paper in the trash that he would take notes on, to include Bitcoin... i remember saying that, too... im sure that landed in a dumpster fire, and Gd would have never allowed that, which im thankful for.

He also told me once that I was speaking a different language as well. After I told him my name was Joseph, I said, "Never mind... I lied because I thought, why would my name be Joseph... that's a guy's name. And I made another name up because i felt weirded out by that. I recently understood why i would have said that. But that's another story entirely. It has a lot to do with Kabbalah and Yesod. Was probably in the middle of understanding the concept of Yesod... was probably reading the Zohar relating to Joseph. It must have been around last year when I dove in... around that time frame. I could really relate to what Joseph went through and how he was thrown into a pit in Dothan... how his brothers abandoned him... and how, in the end, it was all forgiven.

It's funny how i started to recover my memories two years ago... you really do recover them. And all that was also erased to never be known. Except Gd helped me recover everything, to a certain extent. If it was meant to be covered over, it was because i never agreed to it. I also feel that perhaps even with the horrifying events that really damaged my brain and caused severe amnesia, I have to think had i remembered all these insights and possibly used that knowledge for my own benefit, there would have been some serious ramifications from Gd. I have to think, Gd wouldn't allow me to recover my memories until all had passed. Any type of benefit I could derive.

I tell you what, there's a lot of "spooky" to these quantum entanglements. I'm still not quite sure why he would reach in so far and for what reason? When I think back, I had no real control. Even though there were "no boundaries, "... there still was. There were a lot of boundaries he placed on me. I didn't feel grounded most of the time. Then little things like taking care of myself i seemed to forget to do... it wasn't me as well. I understand what happened. I get it now. I'm sure he struggled to try and re-create how easy it was for him when it came to me. The thing he should understand is that it was specific. He was never going to get the same from anyone else no matter how hard he tried. A dream i had long ago way before that let me know it wasn't because of anything he did or the others did...it was always in me. So he failed at ever trying to gain more with anyone else. It's how it goes when you "cheat" for ego's sake and not one that's derived to help Gd. Again, im sure that landed in a dumpster to be forgotten. Thank Gd. No one deserves to know unless it's to help humanity in some way and not for your own sake but for Gd's sake in helping.

It's funny how that works. Now I understand better. And it was never for them. It's hard to understand how it is. I know how it comes together and why. They wanted no part in what really mattered in the end. That's really the sad part of this all. How if you can't derive any satisfaction and if it isn't all about you, you want no part of it. If it isn't going to make you rich, famous, attractive, etc... you think 🤔 you deserve better. So anything that actually requires work without the benefit of anything that feeds your ego you dismiss. Pretty sad. I hope they changed it around because one of the attractive qualities I enjoyed regarding Mike was his steadfast love for Gd. It was really evident until it wasn't. I'm hoping he still tells people..."No, don't turn off the light. "... even when they have had one of the most horrifying nights... he still has it in him. I hope you do, Mike. I dont care anymore that you used me, if it was to help Gd and not something you did to satisfy your ego. I've accepted you never really cared. You always thought i wasn't good enough for other reasons. I hope you have a good understanding in knowing that Gd loves all his servants. This is also another reason in which i know why it would be you would never reach out. You're not brave enough to confront me... to tell me the truth. And that's okay, because Gd showed me why and what I needed to understand as far as you never really reaching out and how I was used. All I want and hope for from this situation is that at some point everyone who was involved try to do and live not for your own benefits, but to really help Gd help humanity however you can. Its really simple.

PS. And Mike, I could have been really loved by another man in this lifetime as well, but he turned out to hate me with a passion and I let him go recently so his anger could dissipate and resolve itself out. Told him I never loved him so he could stop hating me for even thinking I wanted to be with him. That's how much he desires for my demise. Everything everyone did for their own selfish reasons. The weird thing is that he's the one who is loving me in another lifetime currently. So, not all is lost. And when this guy loves, he really does. It's transcendent.

PSS I hope you dogs get it together and get along. End the fighting between each other. Let go of your egotistical ways and think about the bigger picture. Everyone is important to Gd. Every soul matters to Gd. So get over yourselves and make amends. Love your fellow as yourself...