Saw a post asking how to protect your crypto and family members.

I’m seeing very boring responses to a very interesting-topic, how to protect my crypto and family.

OP presumably has a lot of cash, the cash isn’t normal cash, it’s crypto, which is an encrypted type of currency. And so the solution must be, encrypted.

At this point OP’s life must reflect his wealth’s origin.

1. ⁠Name change.

2. ⁠Location change ( multiple locations with a seed phrase and hardware wallet farm, keeping the crypto planted under many trees)

3. ⁠Choosing strange locations with added protection: I’m talking 100 acre land with a waterfall and an entrance to a cave behind the waterfall, this cave contains a sled that leads to a subterranean maze, the maze is filled with death drops, trap doors, lasers, and a plague that is triggered if a certain door is opened, this door contains the final seedphrase to the hardware wallet farm above and the door is located behind an gatekeeper.

4. ⁠Securing a gatekeeper: due to the harsh, dark, and putrid nature of the job description, this position must be someone indebted to OP with their life, someone that has done something so horrible to OP ( or at least they think so) that they are forever indebted to OP, unfortunately, to do this, we must first allow a thief to “steal” ALL our crypto and “murder” the entire family.

5. ⁠Deceiving the thief and shaping the gatekeeper: this phase is a pivotal one and without it, nothing comes together. It is the creation of our gatekeeper. They must first be lured into thinking they are robbing OP’s crypto and “accidentally” murdering family members. This is done by first announcing to neighbours, Gange members, and political figures that OP owns roughly 29% of total Bitcoin supply, then disclosing OP’s location. The location will consist of a ballroom event which includes prominent social figures, OP will hire stunt doubles for him and his entire family. Then OP will reach out to a selected thug , gang member, or political figure before the event as a thief that also wants to steal OP’s crypto. OP Will give the thief they have selected blank guns and they will raid the event together. During the event , they will be forced into a shootout due to a setup, and fake blood in the family members vests will convince the thief and our future gatekeeper that they have murdered the OP’s family.

6. ⁠Patience: now that we have the gatekeeper and our maze, all we have to do is wait. Wait for someone who is brave enough to go through this to get their hands on magical internet money.

In all seriousness, strange cash needs strange solutions. I’m very interested to hear from ACTUAL crypto veterans and savants that have + 10 million usd in crypto and how they have done similar things.