I'm not asking Reddit to replace my psychiatrist. I want to hear from psychiatrists, therapists, and people with lived experience of psychosis-spectrum illness, schizoaffective/bipolar psychosis, delusional disorder, OCD with poor insight, or severe maladaptive daydreaming.
Background: For years I was assessed for ADHD and depression, but I never disclosed the most important symptoms — because I believed they were real and secret.
What I've experienced (5–6 years):
- Grandiose beliefs: I believed I was secretly rich, powerful, politically/militarily connected, capable of influencing world events, Bitcoin markets, COVID, etc.
- Religious/special-mission beliefs: I believed I was God-like, a prophet, or responsible for a coming judgment day; that the universe was communicating secret responsibilities to me.
- Erotomanic beliefs: I believed certain celebrities/social media personalities were secretly in love with me and sending coded messages through posts, captions, and song lyrics.
- Intense internal self-talk: I would "converse" with 4–5 imagined people (podcast-panel style) about prophecy, religion, saving the world. Sometimes I spoke aloud and others noticed.
- I held these beliefs with 75–100% conviction and hid them from family and doctors because I felt I wasn't supposed to disclose them.
Mood episodes: I had 10–15 day phases of extreme confidence, energy, and fast thinking, followed by quieter/anxious periods. Crucially, the delusional beliefs persisted even during low/normal phases — not just during highs.
Sleep: Irregular — awake at night ruminating, sleeping in fragments during the day (5–8 hrs total but badly timed).
What's changed: After 30 days of Amisulpride 200mg (prescribed), my thinking clarified and conviction dropped from ~75–100% to ~50%. I'm currently off it per later medical advice. I will not restart/stop based on Reddit — I just want to understand options before my next appointment.
Safety note: No commands to act, harm myself, or harm others. Passive hopeless thoughts exist but no immediate plan.
I'm looking for:
- What should I ask my psychiatrist to specifically evaluate (beyond ADHD/daydreaming)?
- How do clinicians distinguish schizophrenia-spectrum, schizoaffective, bipolar psychosis, delusional disorder, and OCD with poor insight?
- What helped — antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, CBT-p, ERP, sleep/routine, reducing social media, journaling?
- What daily symptoms are worth tracking before an appointment?
- How do people rebuild academic/work functioning after years in delusional thinking?
- How do I explain this to family without panicking them?
I will bring all replies back to my real doctor as discussion points only.
