Wednesday, October 10, 2018

[SF] [FN] The Darknet is like Dizneyworld / A Short Story Collection - "24 Hoo-Ha Hours in The Emporium"

It's on right now. Until the break of dawn. Angela and Veedi are in the Darknet scheming and it's time for the event of all events here. It's time for THE EMPORIUM.

It's located inside a dumpster. That's right. The entrance is inside a dumpster. It's top secret and so Angela and Veedi enter.

And when they do...welcome to Hell’s version of Disneyland/Downtown Disney. I mean...damn.

Street Vendors are selling a collection of illegal wares: stolen credit cards, Netflix usernames, pirated movies, coupons, every kind of porn movie from every country.

IRANIAN PORN! BANG BANG IN ANTARCTICA! HORSES AND RACCOONS FUCKING HUMANS! BDSM GALORE!

Costumed hosts are trying to get people into their shoddy POP-UP SHOPS.

WANT TO KILL YOURSELF? WE HAVE THE BEST OPTIONS.

A man holds up a sign: I CAN PRINT ANY BODY PART YOU WANT WITH MY 3-D PRINTER!!! 50% DISCOUNT FOR GENITAL PRINTING!

SILICON MASKS FOR SALE! BE ANYONE ANYWHERE ANYTIME ANYHOW!

Carnies are coaxing everyone to play their grimy CARNIVAL GAMES.

PING PONG FISH! PIN A TAIL ON TRUMP THE DONKEY!

WIN THE BITCOIN LOTTERY TODAY!!

AN OPEN AIR BAZAAR OF DEPRAVITY, DEBAUCHERY, AND VIOLENCE.

Angela and Veedi walk by another man selling what appears to be...

IMMORTALITY JUICE! GET YOUR IMMORTALITY JUICE!

Another: Who want that purple drank?! Well, I got it in a can now, baby!

COCAINE CANDY BAR WITH METH SPRINKLES! WHO WANT THAT?

ONE POUND OF SAND, PEOPLE! You ain’t nothing without a pound of sand in your arms!

Angela walks up to the man selling the sand and asks what she would do with a pound of sand. He says well, he doesn't know, but there's money to be made from it for sure.

Angela and Veedi walk to the next part of the Emporium.

Silhouettes of dancers dance in those opaque colored boxes. Inviting people to come into a BROTHEL.

Once inside...

Small TV screens everywhere of half naked MEN and WOMEN staring seductively at every single PERSON that walks by.

BOYS (ON SCREEN) scream: YOU WANT A THREESOME, FOURSOME OR FIVESOME? COME ON OVER AND LET’S GET IT SOUR.

GIRLS (ON SCREEN) beckon: WRITE WHATEVER YOU WANT ON MY CHEST. 19.99 AND ALL YOUR PROBLEMS WILL BE SOLVED.

They keep walking. They pass a big PROJECTION SCREEN that’s set up before BLEACHERS. Different groups of MEN and WOMEN having sex onscreen. SUBSCRIBERS wear thick VR GOGGLES and watch them like it’s a drive-in theatre.

They walk by a MAN selling VASECTOMY DIY KITS like popcorn at a ballgame.

Man: Vasectomy Kits! Get your Vasectomy Home Kits! How about you, ugly kids?! You want to teek teek on your wee wee?!

Exhausted by the visual chaos, Angela and Veedi finally reach a sign...

An old METAL SIGN that has directions to all the different sections.

HONEYPOT AVE (trafficking) - GO LEFT

ENCHANTEDVILLE (drugs) - GO RIGHT

WHISTLETOWN (weapons) - GO NORTH

ATOMIC-LAND (everything else) - GO SOUTH

They then realize...their time in The Emporium has only just begun.


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