Hey, look! Friday! We’re here! I know we’ve got places to be and people to see, so let’s jump into it. Today we need to discuss that latest CDC announcement, a truly diabolical reader and a Home Depot employee who deserves a raise.
News To Know
- The CDC says that vaccinated people don’t have to wear masks or participate in social distancing during indoor or outdoor activities anymore. Needless to say, everybody’s got A Take on this latest guidance.
- Turmoil time: Colonial Pipeline, which operates the country’s largest fuel pipeline, was hacked a week ago and temporarily shut down all four of its major pipelines that serve the Eastern and Southeastern U.S. Gas prices are now through the roof, some states are running out of fuel, and the company paid $5 million to the hackers. Good grief.
- A 28-year-old was arrested for sneaking into a high school and posing as a student to try and get teens to follow her on Instagram. I want Gen Z to like me, but … not that much.
Finance For You
- Bitcoin fell below $50,000 after Elon Musk’s comments about its environmental impact. At least he seems to have made it up to Dogecoin after his ‘SNL’ joke last weekend; the cryptocurrency saw a surge after Musk tweeted about it being a suitable alternative.
- McDonald’s announced that it’s raising wages by an average of 10 percent for over 36,500 U.S. workers. Of course, the move comes after the company dealt with union complaints and had trouble filling thousands of job openings. Hmmmm.
- Disney’s not riding high after its Disney+ subscriber numbers fell short of expectations. Eh, it happens sometimes.
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Sports. Sports. Sports.
- It’s official: Alex Rodriguez is an NBA and WNBA team owner, picking up the Minnesota Timberwolves and Lynx for $1.5 billion. This felt like the right time to google what exactly a lynx is, and I’m now more confused than I was before.
- Tom Brady will make his first return to New England in October when the Bucs play the Patriots in Massachusetts. This whole situation sounds like the most awkward Thanksgiving dinner waiting to happen. Who’s bringing the stuffing?
- Yankees shortstop Gleyber Torres became the eighth member of the organization and first player to test positive for COVID-19 this week. The team says it’s going full steam ahead with the season, but uh, something seems off.
AAPI Heritage Month
- A new survey found that a whopping 42 percent of Americans can’t name a single well-known Asian person. Excuse me???
- It’s *always* a good time to add more books to your list, so might I suggest these eight selections that celebrate AAPI joy?
- Margaret Cho made history with the premiere of her show ‘All-American Girl’ back in 1994, even though the series only lasted for a season. Looking back 27 years later, she says she’s proud of her work but wishes she could’ve done more.
Culture Corner
- A special graduation shout-out goes to great-grandmother Vivian Cunningham, who earned her bachelor’s degree at the age of 78. Protect Vivian at all costs!
- I didn’t wake up this morning wanting to be utterly distressed, but it seems I have no choice after watching this video of a woman who has truly traumatizing reading habits. Ma’am, no book is worth bringing into! the! shower!
- Six Flags is taking heat after a woman alleged that the park tried to force her to change her shorts and then threatened her with criminal trespassing if she didn’t leave. The amusement park, unsurprisingly, has a different version of events.
Tech Talk
- Intel says it’s solved a major issue with quantum computing, which will allow them to create tightly integrated quantum chips. I’m in no way smart enough to even to attempt to explain what this means, so thank goodness someone else is.
- An AI-powered brain implant could help people with paralysis write with their minds and communicate at speeds similar to those who aren’t paralyzed. So cool.
- Burning Man, the center of the universe for the tech elite, won’t be hosting an IRL event this year. The good news, however, is that organizers are gearing up for a virtual one. Look on the bright side: No desert sand getting all up in strange places!
Entertainment Spotlight
- ‘Friends’ fans can rest easy, because the reunion show on HBO Max officially has an air date. Mark those cals for May 27.
- In a new interview, Ellen DeGeneres said she believes that the allegations surrounding the toxic workplace she fostered were “coordinated” and “orchestrated.” Sure, go off.
- John Mulaney had what can only be described as A Week. First news broke about his divorce from beloved wife — and frequent fixture of his comedy — Anna Marie Tendler as he works on his sobriety. Shortly thereafter, it was reported that he may be dating Olivia Munn. Check in with your friends in the John Mulaney hive. Things are weird.
Fantastic Finish
One of the most chaotic TikTok trends of all time is this one where people share random meet-cutes and acts of kindness from strangers. One woman gave props to the Home Depot employee who let her take home 10,000 paint strips for free. A true hero.
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