MONDAY, MAY 17, 2021 / Finely crafted by Lily Herman
Helloooooo! It’s a new week, and that means more opportunities for the world to be really, really weird. Today, we have a U.S. Senator going really hard on UFOs, a spaghetti recipe that no one (literally no one!) asked for and a case of peacock erasure. The horror!!!!
News To Know
- Folks are still scratching their heads at the CDC’s surprise guidance last week about vaccinated people not needing to wear masks. CDC Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky implied it relies *a lot* on trust, and that seems to be in short supply nowadays.
- Amidst international calls for a ceasefire, Israeli air strikes in Gaza and Hamas rocket attacks in Israeli cities continued over the weekend. Officials reported that 197 Palestinians and 10 Israelis have died in the past week.
- Florida Senator Marco Rubio made sure to talk about only the important issues on a recent ‘60 Minutes’ interview, like … ongoing UFO sightings? Turns out aliens are the least of our problems when it comes to random stuff flying around our airspace.
Finance For You
- European markets are feeling mighty iffy after hearing the news that the U.K. is continuing its reopening efforts despite lagging behind on its COVID-19 benchmark index and showing upticks in a coronavirus variant from India. Greaaaaat.
- Speaking of ~the pond~, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are expanding their media empire, including signing a partnership with Procter & Gamble and announcing a release date for Harry’s Apple+ series with Oprah Winfrey. Lots happening for those two.
- Sorry to bring him up *again*, but Elon Musk has left Bitcoin’s price in freefall after hinting over the weekend that Tesla might sell its own cryptocurrency holdings. Yikes.
Sports. Sports. Sports.
- Liverpool goalkeeper Alisson Becker not only saved the club’s season when he scored a match-winning goal against West Brom. He’s also the first Liverpool keeper to score a goal in its 129-year history and only the sixth keeper to do so in Premier League history. It’s a beauty, too.
- After all of that drama with Medina Spirit heading into the Preakness, it was Rombauer who pulled off the win. That said, we still don’t even know yet if Medina Spirit is disqualified from the Derby or anything? *shrugs*
- Time to grab a few tissues. Kobe Bryant’s wife Vanessa gave an emotional tribute at her late husband’s Hall of Fame enshrinement, thanking him for finding ways to “dedicate time to not only being an incredible athlete, a visionary entrepreneur and storyteller, but for also being an amazing family man.”
Mental Health Awareness Month
- The name of the game this season is camp. Not 2019 Met Gala camp; I’m talking summer camp. Looks like a lot of kids are headed back after a long time away in the pandemic.
- Seventeen-year-old Charli D’Amelio talks about juggling the stresses of being a normal teen with having a gigantic global audience — including over 115 million TikTok followers. I get anxious just telling my group text what’s happening in my life, let alone a bazillion strangers.
- Missed Yahoo!’s Reset Your Mindset: Learning to Breathe event last week? Don’t fret! We’ve got the playback queued up and ready to go for you. Watch it here to get the scoop on taking care of your mental health and seeking help.
Culture Corner
- I’ve got lots of food news today, starting with something distressing called a spaghetti table. Is it a joke? An actual recipe? An internet conspiracy? You be the judge.
- I have absolutely zero counter space for a new kitchen appliance, but that’s not going to stop me from being in denial over this hyped air fryer that’s 34 percent off. Over 5,500 people can’t be wrong, y’all!
- Say hello to the TikTok user who sorts her silverware sideways instead of stacking it. It’s either the world’s most genius hack or a total waste of time depending on whom you talk to. I didn’t realize that forks could be so divisive?
Tech Talk
- Early reports state that Twitter’s potential subscription service might be called Twitter Blue and go for a price of $2.99 a month. Apparently it’ll give you Undo Tweets and Collections features though, which sounds … fine?
- It’s another rough year for graduates, so thank goodness you can temporarily soothe their existential dread by buying them electronics. The fine folks at Engadget have made that easy with their latest graduation gift guide.
- The streaming wars could have a few new players: Competitors AT&T and Discovery may join forces — at least on the content front — to overtake the likes of Disney+ and Netflix. “We could really use more subscription services!” said no one.
Entertainment Spotlight
- You can always count on Martha Stewart to be a relatable queen. Yesterday she called out the New York Post for its “fake news” story about her 16 peacocks. She actually has *21* of them. Don’t you haaaate when there’s an inaccurate tally of your exotic birds?
- Jennifer Lopez is really making nostalgia a theme of her Shot Girl Summer. In addition to whipping people into a frenzy with her potential Ben Affleck reunion, she announced that she’s recording new music. I appreciate that JLo’s keeping us occupied on all fronts.
- ‘Drivers License’ singer Olivia Rodrigo released the third single ‘good 4 u’ off of her upcoming album ‘Sour’ and performed on ‘SNL’ this weekend. Just a reminder to the general population to clear your schedule when the album comes out on Friday and get ready to yell-sing about men with ‘J’ names who wronged you when you were 16.
Fantastic Finish
The London Fire Brigade probably didn’t think they’d ever have to ask fully grown adult people to stop trying to fit in toddler swings for internet clout, but here they are. I think it’s time to go back to eating papaya seeds and drinking plant water to get famous.
Thanks for reading today's issue of The Yodel.
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