WEDNESDAY, JUNE 9, 2021/ Finely crafted by Lily Herman
Happy hump day, y’all! We’ve got too much to get to, including a wild dinosaur discovery, a country now officially accepting cryptocurrency and the preteen who’ll make you question all of your life choices. Also, prepare to be distressed about omelets.
News To Know
- The Supreme Court’s got A Lot on its plate this year, so if you need a refresher on what’s happening over there, take a gander at the major cases that the justices are deciding in 2021.
- British police officer Wayne Couzens pleaded guilty to the rape and kidnapping of Sarah Everard; his murder charge will be dealt with later this summer. The devastating case ignited an international movement this spring around women’s safety.
- Scientists in Australia discovered a new dinosaur species, and standing at 21 feet tall and nearly 100 feet long, it’s considered one of the largest creatures to ever walk the earth. Just casual ‘Jurassic Park’ shenanigans.
Finance For You
- The market experts of Reddit have spoken, and the next great meme stock is … Wendy’s? You know, I could be very OK with this one. The Frosty tastes like childhood.
- El Salvador became the first country to accept Bitcoin as legal tender after its president and legislature decided to fully embrace cryptocurrency. Elon Musk could never.
- Despite the fact that we’re coming out of a once-in-a-century health crisis, the World Bank is optimistic that we could see the biggest global economic rebound of the last 80 years. Glad some folks feel cheerful.
Sports. Sports. Sports.
- Golfer Jon Rahm was on the cusp of winning a tournament last weekend when he received word that he tested positive for COVID-19 despite showing no symptoms and was forced to withdraw. It’s yet another incident calling into question what coronavirus protocols for athletes should even look like now.
- Welp, I spoke too soon yesterday on the Aaron Rodgers front. The Packers QB is now skipping a full squad mini-camp, marking the first time he’s missed it in his 16-year NFL career. Tbh, my main thought is that I’d be *delighted* to hear Shailene Woodley’s take on this whole kerfuffle.
- Basketball isn’t the only sport dealing with rude fans. Gio Reyna, a member of the U.S. men's national soccer team, was hit with a bottle during the CONCACAF Nations League final against Mexico. Can everybody just take it down, like, 12 notches?!?!
Culture Corner
- The internet doesn’t seem to know whether this hack is appalling or genius, so I’ll let you be the judge: Would you ever make an omelet in a sandwich bag???
- If you’d like to feel very unaccomplished today, I’ve got just the story for you! Say hello to Mike Wimmer, the *12-year-old* who graduated from both high school and college last month. WHAT?!?!
- There are few things I love more in this world than gossiping about other people’s weddings, so I need all of you to watch this Broadway “flash mob” from a former ‘Bachelor’ contestant’s wedding ceremony and discuss immediately.
- Yahoo! is keeping the Pride vibes going all month long. Join the Pride Evolution event tomorrow, June 10, at 3pm EST, where guests Gabbi Tuft, Jazz Jennings, Adam Rippon and Chris Mosier are chatting about the future of the LGBTQIA+ community.
Tech Talk
- It turns out the FBI operated a massive encrypted communications platform for years that intercepted 20 million messages from international crime organizations. Ignoring all of the obvious questions about, you know, surveillance states and such, this is a great action movie setup.
- Instagram decided that five years after moving users from a chronological feed to an algorithmic one was the perfect time to start explaining how the heck the algorithm works. The answer is a big, ol' ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
- Disgraced YouTuber David Dobrik left his role with Dispo following an explosion of controversies, but it looks like the disposable camera app's doing A-OK without him: The company confirmed a Series A funding to the tune of $20 million. That’s a lot of dough.
Entertainment Spotlight
- Nineteen years and a bazillion rose-filled catchphrases later, Chris Harrison is leaving his job as host of ‘The Bachelor’ franchise following his handling of the show’s latest racism scandal. Don’t feel too bad for him though; rumor has it he got an eight-figure payoff.
- The boys are back! Maybe! Kinda! No one definitively knows! Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson might be kicking off filming for ‘Wedding Crashers 2’ this summer, but everyone’s being very hush-hush and weird on the matter.
- Months after receiving numerous sexual assault and abuse allegations, actor Armie Hammer checked into a treatment program at the end of May for drug, alcohol and sex problems. The move came after he reached out to his estranged wife saying he was ready to get help.
Fantastic Finish
I feel like we could all use a hit of nostalgia today, so behold: You can learn how to make your own fancy homemade Uncrustables. And you can even order a little doohickey to get those weird crust patterns just right!
Thanks for reading today's issue of The Yodel.
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