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While reading this post, a bit of honesty inside of me inspired this post about the truth of my drug use and mental health. I have written this post as catharsis and I can honestly say that it worked to make me feel better. I also wanted to post this here for the community so that maybe an introvert like me can find solace from shared pain and problems. For those who are interested, my mental health diagnosis is Bipolar I (Leaning towards depression).
The following is how cannabis, and other psychedelics, affect me after five years of use with two years of daily cannabis use.
Personally, when using cannabis and other psychedelics, I have found that the social setting makes a big difference so these experiences will be split into two separate categories.
Socially:
When I am stoned with others, I tend to get very talkative, but I usually do not have any good ideas. In lieu of good ideas, I just make endless obvious observations which without fail annoys everyone sober. When stoned, I have a lot of trouble following conversations or understanding what people are saying. So, about every five minutes, I make them /r/ELIA5 most of the conversation which kills a conversation and really pisses off the sober people.
When I am stoned with other stoners, I tend to get along great, unless I start rambling, we usually have an all around good time.
Individually:
Phase One: Pie-in-Sky Thinking
After consuming cannabis or other psychedelics, the initial effects start with a tingling sensation that moves over my brow down my back all the while relieving tension as it moves down my spine. This tingling is followed by muscle relaxation that eases me into comfortable like sitting on a cloud. Now, quite high above the ground, the dragon shows its scally face in the form of blissful mental euphoria that has started to take its place center stage.
At this point, my thoughts usually follow a similar path, but the theme of my thoughts tend to be based on what I have been thinking about or doing recently. This is where my thoughts lead to delusions of grandeur (Amplified by my Bipolar mania). These manic delusions are incredibly alluring and paint the most perfect life much like Infinite Jest. During these delusions, I feel the satisfaction of being a successful musician, professional gamer, and more recently a wealthy trader; these delusions build on top of each other and much like a poorly played game of Jenga it topples into itself.
Phase two: Breaking of the Grand Illusion
These delusions of grandeur are directly followed up by a few doses of cruel reality. At this point, my thoughts are usually centered on the ways that I have failed to achieve goals or when I was too paralyzed by fear to even take action. This phase is a depressive phase.
I think about my wasted lonely childhood that was lost to my second serious addiction, television. My early psyche was emotionally and socially stunted because of this isolation and television dreams of tomorrow kept me asleep instead of progressing. The lack of childhood hobbies has made it harder for me to form hobbies in my adult life. Thus resulting in an adult with no meaningful skills or work ethic.
I think about how I squandered my aptitude for STEM as well as my high school years because I choose to play 3500+ hours of DOTA 2 instead of building a work ethic before college.
I think about how much bitcoin I would have today if I didn't spend them on drugs. I am sure this feeling is not unique, especially here, but I think not saving some will always bother me.
I think about the whole year that I wasted while I was addicted to Ambien. I also regret not enjoying attending college; the whole time that I was in school I was infatuated by Ambien and cannabis instead of clubs, events, or even classes. I heavily regret losing my university enrollment to drugs. That being said, since I was a Philosophy major so it probably worked out for the best.*
Sometimes, I think about the regret that I have from not pursuing any self-education while being unemployed; I wanted to become a software developer and create the projects that I have dreamed of. Now, I don't dream because of cannabis.
I think about the damage that has been done to my body with drugs and overeating; overeating is my first addiction and I have had it longer than I can even remember. I sometimes wallow in the heavy regret that comes along with gaining 200 pounds in just two years; a two-year long binge of alcohol and food that was fueled by cannabis.
I think about my chronic unemployment; I think about all the lost wages for unemployment that could have invested in bitcoin; I think about the career opportunities that could be available to me if I had started a new job soon after becoming unemployed.
I think about how I have now become the new family drug user, drop out, and resident failure. There were several times during my Ambien and alcohol days that my breathing was so shallow that I could have very well have been the next person in my family to overdose.
A lot of my focus centers on thoughts of regret that I didn't put more effort into my mental health and physical health. This also includes social relationships with family whom I have isolated myself from.
Most recently, after eating a two gram edible, I made a complete ass of my self at a community meeting and I almost accidentally hurt two people there; later this same meeting, I was talking to a small child and then I accidentally told him that he was adopted. (Stoned me figured that since his parents are both different races, and he is neither, he would already know; I am still not sure why I brought it up though.) <--- This meeting has been the majority of my negative thoughts recently.
At the end of this phase, my thoughts tend to move to towards regretting consuming cannabis and being frustrated with myself for being unable to fight and beat this addiction. I tend to lament on my wasted time stoned and wish I had been doing something productive that produces value.
Phase Three: Self-Hatred
During this phase, negative self-talk about my mistakes echoes and reverberates through my thoughts; this amplifies even a minuscule mistake to all engrossing. The emphasis on my mistakes makes me frustrated with myself for not getting my life together; This urge to do better comes in conflict with the inner belief that I can't succeed. Then my habit of failure and learned worthlessness kick that urge to the curb to fulfill that self-fulling prophecy of failure.
This phase wears down on my motivation to make a change; it reinforces learned worthlessness and the belief I am unable to change in any positive way. This phase usually creates existential anxiety concerning what goals I will achieve and what purpose I will make out of my life.
Phase Four: Psychosis
The next phase is less composed in presence of mind than the rest. At this point, I have reached a heightened sense of alertness. This alertness is caused by increased anxiety which stems from Phase Three compounded by the last of the positive effects of cannabis subduing. The other features common in this phase are visual and auditory hallucinations, paranoia, delusions, and psychosis. The visual hallucinations are minor being either shadows or seeing something out of the corner of my vision. Auditory hallucinations include hearing muffled voices, my own voice clearly (but without me talking)**, knocking on doors, closing doors, or my name being called.
Against this mental turmoil, I usually hold my mental composure by taking a shower, laying in bed, or playing with a pet.
Phase Five: Wishing for Sweet Release
The final phase consists of existential anxiety, relief that the experience is ending, and the one thing that gets depressed people excited: Sleep! Off to non-dreamland!
*I am thankful that I don't have any good bartard stories but, to be completely honest, like most of that year, I probably just forgot anything worth sharing.
**This has only happened to me on heroic doses of cannabis and other psychedelics
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Blockchain and cryptocurrency related topics have been discussed repeatedly ever since bitcoin’s popularity. When a blockchain startup wants to be popular around the world, there's so much to do with medias and social medias. If your blockchain startup wants to reach more potential audiences in China, the right choice of blockchain media is essential.
8BTC, Jinse Finance, Bishijie, Mars Finance and Gyro Finance are the top five Chinese Blockchain Medias you must know in China, and you might choose one of them to publicize your project base on their characteristics.
8BTC, founded in 2011, is a medium majoring in blockchain that has longest history in China. They have had translated many technical articles into Chinese, including the white-paper of Bitcoin. 8BTC reports global startup projects, and publishes analyzing reports of blockchain. They also hold technical salon and training activity, making blockchain known to more people and have broader application. If you believe your startup project is a real technical project, 8BTC will be the right media to connect with.
Jinse Finance is an online media that provides the latest blockchain news, event information, and financial related services. Jinse Finance has many connections with different facilities for it’s invested by Huobi exchange co-found Dujun. Jinse mobile app is widely used, people interest in blockchain reads their news frequently.
BiShiJie is a blockchain and cryptocurrency news platform mainly focus on news reporting, which is similar to Jinse Finance. Both medias’ news reporting service are recommended if your startup needs frequent attentions.
Mars Finance is a Chinese news and reports platform focusing on the blockchain and cryptocurrency sector. It provides free and publicly accessible hosting services for blockchain and cryptocurrency reference material, market segments, and online blockchain communities. Mars Finance has a good sense of news reporting, if your startup requires high quality news reporting, Mars Finance will be a fair option.
Gyro Finance is founded by Gyro Media Group in March 2018. This media group mianly focus on reporting news in game industry and tech-related areas. There are news-reports, project-interviews, token rating, Gyro Qiangqiang and value100 sections under the name of this media. Gyro Qiangqiang is one of the most popular blockchain videos in China, people remember the names of the project easily in the funny video. When your blockchain startup wants to be appealing and easy to understand, gyro finance’s PR service might be the best choice.
One more important tips, ICOs are considered illegal in China, when your project wants to do the PR work, you'd better focus more on the blockchain technologies, or you might be banned by local government.
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There are multiple Monero wallets for a wide range of devices at your disposal. Check the table below for details and download links. All wallets listed below are open source. Attention: for extra security make sure to calculate and compare the checksum of your downloaded files.
| Wallet | Device | Description | Download link |
|---|---|---|---|
| "Official" GUI / CLI | Windows, Mac OS X, Linux | The default implementation that is maintained by the core team. Use this one to run a full node and obtain maximum privacy.Has Ledger (hardware wallet) integration. Current version: 0.13.0.3 / 0.13.0.2. | GetMonero.org |
| MyMonero | Windows, Mac OS X, Linux | MyMonero is a lightweight wallet, which means you don't need to download the blockchain and run a node. MyMonero was developed with the assistance of the core team. They also have web-based and iOS versions. | GitHub |
| Wallet | Device | Description | Download link |
|---|---|---|---|
| Monerujo | Android | Popular Android lightweight wallet that has very cool features, like integration with xmr.to which lets you send payments in BTC using your XMR. It also has Ledger (hardware wallet) integration. Website: https://www.monerujo.io/. | Google Play / F-Droid / GitHub |
| MyMonero | iOS | iOS version of the MyMonero wallet. All versions have interoperability. | App Store |
| Cake Wallet | iOS | Popular iOS lightweight wallet that has integration with MorphToken, which means you can instantly exchange your XMR to other coins and tokens. Website: https://cakewallet.io/ | App Store |
| X Wallet | iOS | Another iOS lightweight wallet. Website: https://xwallet.tech/ | App Store |
| Edge Wallet | Android / iOS | This is a multi-assets wallet, meaning you can store Monero, Bitcoin, Ethereum and other tokens in one single app. https://edge.app/ ⚠️ Relatively new - use with caution! ⚠️ | Google Play / App Store |
| Wallet | Description | Link |
|---|---|---|
| MyMonero | Web version of the MyMonero wallet. All versions have interoperability. | Web |
| XMRWallet | Web wallet with TOR support. ⚠️ Relatively new - use with caution! ⚠️ | Web / Onion URL |
Your balance is unlocked after 10 confirmations (which means 10 mined blocks). A block is mined approximately every two minutes on the Monero network, so that would be around 20 minutes.
The fastest and most direct way is by using the ExploreMonero blockchain explorer. You will need to recover the transaction key from your wallet (complete guide for GUI / CLI).
There are dozens of exchanges that trade Monero against Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies. Check out the list on CoinMarketCap and choose the option that suits you best.
The correct place to ask questions and discuss the Monero mining scene is in the dedicated subreddit r/MoneroMining. That being said, you can find a list of pools and available mining software in the GetMonero.org website.
Before any action there are two things to check:
Settings, under Debug info).Because Monero is different from Bitcoin, wallet synchronization is not instant. The software needs to synchronize the blockchain and use your private keys to identify your transactions. Check in the lower left corner (GUI) if the wallet is synchronized.
You can't send transactions and your balance might be wrong or unavailable if the wallet is not synced with the network. So please wait.
If this is not a sufficient answer for your case and you're looking for more information, please see this answer on StackExchange.
This question is beautifully answered on StackExchange.
You have decided to use Monero's wallet and run a local node. Congratulations! You have chosen the safest and most secure option for your privacy, but unfortunately this has an initial cost. The first reason for the slowness is that you will need to download the entire blockchain, which is considerably heavy (+70 GB) and constantly growing. There are technologies being implemented in Monero to slow this growth, however it is inevitable to make this initial download to run a full node. Consider syncing to a device that has an SSD instead of an HDD, as this greatly impacts the speed of synchronization.
Now that the blockchain is on your computer, the next time you run the wallet you only need to download new blocks, which should take seconds or minutes (depending on how often you use the wallet).
The way to skip downloading the blockchain is connecting your wallet to a public remote node. You can follow this guide on how to set it up. You can find a list of public remote nodes on MoneroWorld.
Be advised that when using a public remote node you lose some of your privacy. A public remote node is able to identify your IP and opens up a range for certain attacks that further diminish your privacy. A remote node can't see your balance and it can't spend your XMR.
To restore your wallet with the 25 word mnemonic seed, please see this guide.
To restore your wallet with your keys, please see this guide.
This question is beautifully answered on StackExchange. Check this page for the GUI instructions, and this page for the CLI instructions.
If you want to support other Monero users by making your node public, you can follow the instructions on MoneroWorld, under the section "How To Include Your Node On Moneroworld".
This question is beautifully answered on StackExchange.